Article: Laura Marcus from True Love

"Women just throw themselves at me," says Sipho, 33, who's been married for eight years and has two little girls. He's on his third affair –­ but has no intentions of leaving his wife.

He explains how this one started. "Khwezi, my wife Mary's friend, looked so sad and lost. I desperately wanted to comfort her.

"'It's Bheki,' she sobbed. 'He's left me for another woman.' Her vulnerability really touched me. Mary had told me Khwezi wanted to have her house redecorated –­ to help clear away memories of Bheki, I suppose ­– so I offered to do it for her.

"'I'll paint away the memories,' I said.

"And that's all I planned to do. I certainly didn't mean to have an affair with her. But when I found her crying after a visit from her husband, she fell easily into my arms.

"'I'm so lonely, Sipho,' she whispered. She seemed so sweet, so terribly breakable and fragile. My heart melted. It made me feel strong and protective and within minutes I was caressing her hair.

"Then she let out no protest when my hand started wandering, slowly down her neck, then her back, then around her waist.

"I felt myself getting more and more aroused, and then I carried her upstairs. She was still crying, but I kept telling her everything would be fine.

"And it was. We made love, slowly and then very passionately. It was wonderful. She was so soft and feminine, it made me feel like a real man, and her a real woman.

"Now whenever I want Khwezi, I tell Mary I'm doing some odd jobs for her. Khwezi says she never meant our friendship to become sexual. I know she feels she's betraying her friend. But she needs me, whereas Mary is so capable, there are times when I feel redundant," says Sipho.

"The truth is, lonely women like Khwezi need a man like me ­and I can't resist them either. It's not serious – just affectionate fun.

"I've had three affairs since I've been married, including the one with Khwezi. The first was with a shy woman at work who fancied me because I was the only one who paid her any attention. I felt sorry for her – and she was quite pretty in a demure, appealing way.

"The other was a plump widow who worked in the canteen," he says. "Women always throw themselves at me. I'm not good-looking, but I like women –­ and they can tell.

"I understand them, and that's rare for a man. I'm caring and kind and I know how to treat a lady. My friends are always asking: 'What's your secret?' It's simple. Women like to be listened to, flattered and made to feel they're the only person you see.

"Most men are too stupid to realise that.

"I still love Mary. What we have is special and I want it to last forever. It's just that I like sharing a bit of pleasure with other women now and again. But that's as far as it goes.

"I wouldn't dream of leaving my wife and children for someone else.

"If Mary's ever suspected me of cheating, she's been wise enough not to mention it. Once it's brought out in the open, she'll probably feel she has to do something about it – and I'm sure neither of us really wants that to happen," he says.

Did you think Sipho is misunderstood or an actual bonafide bastard? Let us know.

Sipho's story isn't unusual. Some men are just serial cheaters. Read more about serial cheaters here.

The naked truth?

Dr Alan Riley, UK specialist in sexual medicine and editor of the British Journal of Sexual Health, says: "There's definitely a biological element involved in why some men feel the need to cheat.

"A man's sex drive is more acute than a woman's.

"The urgency he sometimes feels makes him more likely to accept sexual advances. It's true men are less monogamous than women because they can separate sex from a romantic situation more easily than women can. "A sense of responsibility can – and should –­ overcome a biological urge. Just because you're hungry doesn't mean you have to eat anything that's put in front of you."

A Johannesburg psychiatrist, who doesn't wish to be named, agrees. "There's no way any man can excuse his infidelities on the grounds that his sex drive is 'uncontrollable'.

"What's more likely is that men who compulsively seek new sexual partners are actually deeply insecure and feel a continual need for reassurance that their manhood is potent.

"Even marriage to a loving, stable partner isn't enough to make them feel whole and potent as men. It's more about low self-esteem than libido."

Do you agree with Dr Alan Riley or is it all a load of hogwash? Let us know.