Article: Sbu Mpungose from Move!

A hesitant trip to Home Affairs found a civil servant who was uncivil and not willing to be a servant. She gave one-word answers and directions with her mascara eye.

She was too busy staring at her computer with the other eye to notice the queue snaking out of control. I reasoned that she was possibly busy with a complicated spreadsheet or some administration work that would better the lives of those in the long queue.

It turned out she was playing Solitaire – a computer game that most bored employees have become addicted to. Two boere seuns caught all the action on their camera phones and I silently prayed the poor woman would not be broadcast on 3rd Degree.

Besides letting us play Pinball and Hearts or any of the other games found in Windows, Microsoft should invest in a programme that will teach us email manners while making them lots of money.

Remember back in the 90s when cellphones had just started reaching the masses? People told horror stories of how cellphones were ruining funerals and testing the faithful. Some cellphone owners would literally step over the casket to answer calls.

Even widows in mourning attire would dramatically stop funerals to attend to phone calls.

Cellphones have improved with time and silent/vibrator modes have saved us all. But now we are out of control again.

This time we are finding it hard to use email appropriately. Let's start with the language. "Hi I wnt a job 4rm u. Pls call me. C ya."

This is clear SMS language being used to address an employer. And before you think I'm making fun of those unfortunate unemployed people, you need only look at the email signature – 4rm Sbu Mpungose, Head of Communications!

In any event the very individual who is looking for a job will CC (copy) half of South Africa including his current boss. Apparently, public servants like copying the CEO down to the cleaning lady if they want their point heard.

Then there are those complete strangers, (seemingly more women than men) who clearly have little else to do but spend almost every minute emailing inspirational words, hate speech directed at men and Xhosa women, porn, rape scares, and the latest story: Night Of The Pangas, where all black people will apparently go around killing white people when Tata Nelson passes on.

These emails are soon followed by raging, rambling and pathetic debates where complete strangers try to outwrite each other with big English words.

I'm sure it's meant as some form of networking, but one wonders who is taking care of the patients, balancing the books at banks or making sure we are not plunged into darkness by a power failure, if everyone is writing nonsensical mails.

It is not the people who have the "low" jobs who need to be taught email manners – they probably don't even have access to it.

It is the educated ones who are window dressing and speaking Zulu on the phone the whole day who need to be taught the please, thank you and mind your own business of email.

What is the most annoying e-habit you’ve ever come across? Vent your frustration below…