

Question
I am 36 years old and my boyfriend is 37 we stay together. We've been in a relationship for 7 yrs. We met when my daughter was 6 months old.(not his daughter) We raised her together. We get along very well most of the time. In 2006 he paid lobola. We were using condoms for six years and beginning of the yr 2007 we both went for a test and we both tested negative and we agreed on not using condoms anymore and to trust each other. two weeks ago he told me that he has a one month old son from another girl friend but they are no longer involved he love me. Must I leave him for that because I don't trust him or I am being selfish because this is his first child and I do have a child of my own.
I risked my life having unprotected sex with him. Worse is we are going out next week-end with his friends and their partners. I have not responded to him as yet, I've told him to stay by his parents as I need a space and time to digest this so that I will make right decision. Please help I don't believe this is happening to me.
Answer
Please see a couple's therapist, SADAG at (011) 783 1474 have a list, or there is FAMSA or Martindale. You need a safe space to work this out in, first without him there and then together. Whether you stay or go, it won't be easy and you need to know it's the right move- plus have support.- Colinda Linda

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