from SHAPE
Image: AFP

I stopped rowing and struggled to work just a few hours a day. I started to lose hope, thinking that life was just not worth living if this was how I was to endure it. The doctors thought it was a neck injury, and the treatment I was getting often made things worse.

Two years after it all began, I was sent for a CT brain scan. The doctor held the scan up against the light and pointed out a tumour the size of an orange. I was so relieved. Yes, relieved. We had finally found the cause of my pain. Three days later I was in hospital to have the tumour removed.

My surgeon came to my bedside and told me all the possible outcomes: I could lose my vision, the use of my limbs, my ability to recognise words. Suddenly I was scared. More scared than I'd ever been at the start of any race. I promised myself I would never be scared of anything else if I survived this.

After seven hours of surgery, I was wheeled into intensive care, and when I woke up, I couldn't stop smiling. I couldn't move my limbs; I was hooked up to several pipes and tubes; my mouth was so dry I couldn't speak; and I had 22 staples in my head, but I couldn't stop smiling inside because I knew I was OK. I wanted to scream it from the rooftops: "I don't have a headache anymore!"

It was three months before I could start rowing again and seven months since I'd stopped. I had lost a lot of weight and strength, and most people thought I would quit. They saw it as a perfect excuse to retire. But I had missed it too much, and there were things I still wanted to prove to myself.

I started with just one light paddle once a week and built it up slowly over a couple of months. I decided to start racing again and entered the Gauteng Championships. Well, I raced, and I came last in an event I was used to winning. I was devastated, and cried the whole way home, but I resolved to get back to the top. The following year I came third and helped break two SA records. This year I raced in the selected lightweight double and we won by a long way. We went on to race at the World Cup in Austria in June — fighting it out with the best in the world.

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