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Has rape become 'normalised' in South African society?

Article: Qhakaza Mbali Mthembu from women24
Image: Qhakaza Mbali Mthembu

On a laid back Wednesday night, having yet another session of girl talk, sipping on cosmos (being true Sex in the City fanatics) my friend tells me, rather nonchalantly, that she was raped a couple of years ago.

She continues with the conversation like what she just said was completely normal; the kinds of things we all throw into a conversation. "It's not a big deal, many people have been through worse," she says.

My jaw hit the ground! I don't know if it's just the women I meet but it seems that every woman can tell a story of how they have been victims of crime. It's quite interesting to see that the numbers of women who say they have been affected by crime are so low:

10% of women had been victims of crime in the last year.

26% of victims of crime feel unsafe or very unsafe at home, compared to only 10% of those who have not been victims of crime in the last year.

I really expected them to be a lot higher.

I would love to be able to walk down any street without having to be on the lookout for approaching shadows, keep an eye on my bag, use the other to constantly look of my shoulder all the while trying not to get lost down some dodgy dark alley. But that will have to remain a dream for a while I guess.

Can't help but wonder... when does the revolution come? When will women be safe in their own homes?

Do you feel that rape has become a norm in SA society? And can SA's crime situation can every be fixed? If so, how?

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Have something to say?

Nanine Prins
08 Sep at 10:10

Rape in SA does not get enough attention. Only when it happens to someone famous or when it happens to someone close to you people get upset. We need heavier jail sentences for rapist. Maybe we should castrate them. They ruin their victims life and maybe even give them AIDS and the rapist only go to jail for short while. Just to be back on the street to rape again. How will our president feel if his wife or daugter is raped? Will he then do something about it? You never hear of a group of white young guys that storms into a house and rape a black woman in front of her family. Why is it ALWAYS the other way around?

Grace
08 Sep at 11:55

i sure agree.Rapist should be castrated as a matter of fact by so doing we'd be saving them from fighting temptations they obviously cant manage.Going to jail aint good enuf altho i do hope they get raped themselvesin these jails.The action of rape is just plainly inhuman and it should be treated thus!

hazel
08 Sep at 12:01

Hi, Rape it cant be fixed why because police arrest rapist went to court then at court give them bail or they can arrest them maybe give a person 5 years at prison the you can hear says they relieved him throuhg parole which is wrong image of young girls being raped what is the furthure of the girl afterwards baour goverment is very poor guy you must do something with this.

lrob
08 Sep at 12:02

For whatever reason, and I believe it has nothing to do with colour, women in this country are still being treated like second class citizens. Although I was never raped, I was molested as a child by a family member so I have some idea of the darkness involved as a victim. Rape is a crime of power and there is no excuse!!! All decent people should stand up and scream NO to the abuse and the violence.

Justine
08 Sep at 12:27

I know 2 doctors at Temba Hospital in Mpumalanga who can tell you horrific stories of how woman and girls of all ages get raped, and how the cases are NEVER reported, and the only way the rape comes to light is when a 8 year old girl comes in to the hospital with an STD at an advanced stage. Or worse still, how a mother will bring her, 5, 8, and 12 year old daugters to the hospital because they were all raped in one evening by a relative.

A Man
08 Sep at 12:30

As a man, I feel very ashamed, and sad that women have to go through this. Even if just 1 woman is raped or abused, it is 1 too many. Men who rape are sick cowards. It is obvious that women cant rely on government or police to protect them. I do believe it's time for both men and women to unite in this struggle. Apartheid may have been crushed but people in SA are not free....especially women, children and the aged. I think we must rely on our prayers and faith as it is really only GOD that can help us to eradicate this disease which we are starting to think is normal and OK.

Benzy Sekonyela
08 Sep at 12:52

My name is Benzy (Male) as stated above. I have a friend of mine (best friend) whom had once gone thru some difficulties. I'm so ashamed till this day, that I was not there for her when she needed me and couldn't even talk to her about the subject. It just killes me inside knowing of what had happened to her and I couldn't help her or at least talk to her about it. Well, somehow she managed to survive it and I feel so helpless that I did nothing to comfort her, instead I cry with her all the times when the subject is brought up. Can you help her with making sure that has she been real hilled??? Do it for me PLEASE??? (Do you take victim names???) Just be careful though, with possibly arising dead issues. Thanks I had to send this because I was touched by one of your comments above listed, that says girls, woman, ladies ... they just talk about issues that had happened to them in a normal conversation and they claim to have long passed the situation (trauma) which does not bother them anymore.

Cel
08 Sep at 14:01

I do agree, its as normal as going out and shopping in this country. My brother & a friend of his has become the latest to the rape daily log of rape victims over this past weekend. They both in prison awaiting bail and now just finding out the shocking new. i have realised behond myself, my daughter and every living person in this country - that we all are in grave danger and theres nothing we can do. But be sheep lead to the slaughter!!

Corrie
08 Sep at 15:15

I got a woman working in my business that was raped. She was told by the policeman to shut up or be killed! He was the rapist and knew where she stayed!!!

Lyndi
08 Sep at 15:23

4 as long as we hav a society tht believs that men cannot control their libidinous urges and there4 women should cover up; we will always hav this scourge. rape is about power, about telling women that u may be independent but we can still take that power away.was molested at 6, raped at 17 - very messed up but refusing to be cowed.and this is made harder by women themselves who believe that men should be "understood" and not hav to control themselves.

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