Every other woman
Chantal finds that being a working mummy is not as easy as it seems.
Do you demand or earn respect?
I have raised my children informing that people earn respect, it shouldn't be demanded no matter what the age. |
 |
|
|
Ask an expert...
|
||
|
|
||
 |
 |
|
Is one enough?
If you have made the decision – or it has been made for you – to only have one child, you have probably taken a certain amount of flack from well-meaning family and friends, many of whom will be convinced that having an only child is selfish, inconsiderate and weird.
Why so many singles?
Are only children different?
Only children are often portrayed as self-centred, attention seeking, dependant and temperamental. But there is a great deal more to the story and, in some cases, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
Most current findings appear to indicate that only children have a slight edge over children with siblings when it comes to intelligence and achievement; and that they suffer no serious interpersonal defects. In fact, only children may have some advantages as a result of their special status: more attention from parents, freedom from sibling rivalry and comparison and access to more family resources.
Friendliness
Some research indicates that only children may be slightly less friendly and less likely to "join in" than other children. Findings show that only children may belong to fewer organisations, have fewer friends, and lead a less hectic social life. On the other hand, only children have as many close friends, assume leadership positions in clubs, and feel as satisfied and happy with their lives as other children.
Intelligence
Only children, like first-borns, generally have been found to score slightly higher on measures of intelligence than younger siblings. But this may well have more to do with parents having more time, energy and money to spend on intellectual stimulation.
Achievement
Both academic and other kinds of achievement in only and first-born children appear to be slightly greater than for later-born children. Researchers have concluded that achievement motivation originates in the high standards for "mature" behaviour that parents impose on their only children.
Popularity
Some behavioural experts suggest that, because only children have no siblings to interact with, they acquire more autocratic and less co-operative interactive style than other children – making them less popular. Other, contradictory, research says that likeability ratings from same sex pre and primary school classmates were highest for only children.
Tips for parents
What are your thoughts on having one child? A good idea? Or just plain selfish? Tell us in the comment box below.
|
|
|
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
||
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
|
| I delivered her and when she started walking, fate cruelly snatched her father away from her; 1 year and 4 days from her 1st birthday. The 1st thing that came to mind is I hope im not pregnant because that was the initial plan. Im so glad that I wasn't. Though being a single parent, but having only one makes it all the more easier. One school fees, one set of uniforms, one allowance; everything of the best. But Im truely blessed to have one rather than none. She keeps me sane and the feeling of being called mum by my one is just so fulfilling. | ||
 |
||
| Fathima Khan on 27 Jun at 14:29 |
||
|
|
|
| I'm an only child, and wish that my parents had another. Growing up, while I made friends easily, I often envied my friend's large families and wished I was teased by an older brother...guess its a case of the grass is greener... | ||
 |
||
| Louis on 27 Jun at 14:53 |
||
|
|
|
| It was not my wish to have one child, I was ill and i forced to done total hestrotomy. I was still have two unborn. but all was the love of God. | ||
|
||
| MPHO IRENE on 28 Jun at 13:09 |
||
|
|
|
| I was a single mom while my only child, a daughter, was growing up.We have always shared a special bond, and she slept in my bed until she was about 10. Now that she is an adult, she is so grateful that I did not have more children. She says what she likes the most about being an only child, is that she never had to compete with siblings for my attention. I did however, find that it was still hard for me as a single mom, even with one child. Trying to keep an only child occupied & entertained is really not easy! However...she has grown up to be a thoughtful, friendly, loving & beautiful person. Now that she is an adult, I am also grateful for having an only child... I wouldn't want it any other way. | ||
|
||
| Mom on 30 Jun at 13:02 |
||
|
|
|
| It is not always possible to have more than 1 child - mother nature can be a bitch! I'm tired of having to explain to others why I cannot have more children. Others should accept that you only have one child - if they had more then maybe they wanted them and they got them. They should count themselves lucky. Many people cannot have children. | ||
|
||
| Lara on 09 Jul at 12:51 |
||
|
|
|
| I am a mother of a very busy 3 year old little girl. at this stage of my life i don't see myself with another child. i adore children and enjoy being a mother although i feel like running away other times. I just feel in today's life with the crime rate, child rapes and missing children it is selfish to have loads of children. Life is very expensive and i have always said that i'd rather give one child all i can, not all she wants, then having 3 or 4 kids and you struggle to make ends meet. at the end of the day, when children grow up they all want nice labbeled clothes and expensive things like children at school. and when you have a few kids it is more expensive than just giving it to one. I feel that you have s special bond with your child and you can consentrate and give all your free time to one child and there is no need to feel bad cause you give more love and attention to another. | ||
|
||
| Juanita on 25 Oct at 11:28 |
||
|
|
|
| I have one son - 10years and can relate completely to the advantageous stated in the article. But I dont believe it outweighs the experience of a sibling relationship. I have three brothers and a sister. As children we played together, as teenagers we talked and now we advice and discuss with each other on any matter or decision we need to take. I believe an only child misses out on this kind of bond with a sibling which cannot be substituted by friends or parents. Between Siblings there is love and trust and no fear. They form a pillar of support for each other from childhood to adulthood. | ||
|
||
| Naseera on 26 Oct at 16:47 |
||
|
|
|
| Even though I have a brother and sister 20yrs and 15yrs older I was an only child and there are things that I missed out on like the sibling rilvary, which I really dont understand. I had two girls, two years apart and they had their snaps but were very close and travelled the world together. When the serious boyfriends came about the younger traumatized the other. They are 31 &29 now and about to marry, but in the last 2yrs I honestly wondered why I bothered with two. Hopefully their relationship will heal but at the moment one cant wait to get away from the other. | ||
|
||
| Sharon on 08 Nov at 15:21 |
||
|
|
|
| In today's life style where you are expected to balance a career & motherhood, I don't understand why people still raise eye brows if one decide to have one child. I come from family of seven children and I think if we were few, we could have a much better life style. | ||
|
||
| Fikkie on 28 Mar at 14:21 |
||
|
|
|
| Myself and my husband have a 14months old son and we have decided that, he will be the only child because we find that parenting is challenging , in terms of finding time to be with your kids,understanding then and supporting all the stages they go thru and our decision is also because we want to be present at most times for our son and having more will just create a difficulty in managing our time and commitment to their needs,especially with all that kids are going thru this days, we just have to be so close to them as parents and Both parents for that matter. | ||
|
||
| Noncedo on 04 Apr at 15:54 |
||
|
|
||
 |
Image: True Love
 |
Knitting
Recluse? Hannah reckons knitting is not for you. more>
|
 |
7de Laan
The entire Hillside is abuzz about the strange house on 6de Laan... more>
|
Potty training
The first day of school
Eating in restaurants
Handling tantrums
Child safety on the road
Dealing with bullies
Sleep Sense
Baby Sense
Toddler Sense
Children need boundaries: Effective discipline without punishment
Get the balance right
FitPregnancy
Your Pregnancy
Your Baby
Your Child
NG Kids
Seventeen
|
Your voice every day... here!
|
