Article: Tina Otte from Your Pregnancy magazine
Image: Your Baby magazine

Motherhood involve not one but many beginnings, each vastly different. But slowly and surely you feel your way through, taking time to adjust and to pick up on the nuances, rhythms and routines a new environment brings.

The first encounter with motherhood
After the fireworks have faded, it may be hard to remember why you chose to do this. In postpartum time warp, a mother can hardly help but long for some regularity in her days and nights. At a time where there are no set routines, very few, if any breaks in a 24 hour period and no one to tell you when those breaks will come, you may find yourself mourning the time in your life when you were free to indulge some of your own whims and fancies.

For the first few weeks after birth, many women find it hard to come to grips with the fact that they are mothers. During pregnancy, your body fed and nourished your growing baby so caring for your baby meant caring for yourself first. Now that your baby is born, you're required to be a provider of love, warmth, care and food for someone else. You're on constant call. But as you grow to love your baby, you will find resources in yourself you never dreamed existed.

The challenges of motherhood
Psychologist, Belinda Perrow, says "Motherhood is a crash course in confronting our past, present and future. Throughout our lives we collect a store of mental images that colour our expectations of becoming a mother. When the time arrives, it is a constant challenge to come to terms with our unfulfilled expectations. In a moment, we are required to cope with unfamiliar nature of motherhood and it is a challenge to accept that we have lost some control over our lives. We also need to adapt to the enormous and ongoing responsibility that parenthood brings."

Mother to mother
As we become mothers for the first time we look back on our own role model rather critically. What will we do the same, what will we do differently? Many women have expressed a deep understanding, a clearing of the clouds and a tolerance of their mothers as they gain insight into what mothering is all about.

We understand her wisdom and her sense of knowing and we come to respect that. "There is no one that can take care of you and understand you like your mother," says Karin. "I have grown up immensely and with a shock realised that our parents were also just young people- figuring out what life is all about. And now that I'm a mom, it's as though another cycle in life has been completed."

From parents to parents
There are many challenges facing a couple when they have a baby. Becoming parents holds potential for conflict and misunderstanding as you both struggle to get to grips with parenting. You have to reconcile your different upbringing, values and ethics on many issues. Communication is so important at this time.

According to Belinda Perrow, becoming parents is rewarding for both partners and both feel that their relationship has been enriched by the experience. But parenthood is a time of major change, which invariably leads to upheaval and the need for adjustment.

"Apart from high levels of fatigue and general preoccupation with the baby, it is a challenge for partners to continue to talk and share their feelings with one another," says Belinda. Communication can deteriorate if one partner feels overwhelmed and unable to cope. These feelings are understandable, but they need to be acknowledged and expressed."

Job Juggling
Many women have to go back to work, either for financial reasons, the need to stay in the workplace or wanting to keep something of their own life. Some women fear that becoming a mother will cause them to lose their freedom and independence and choose to go back to work for this reason. Others experience a complete turn around in priorities and are happy to take on the job of full time mom for a few years. Juggling a career and motherhood and getting the balance right is an art itself. Bt you'll be surprised at your tenacity and ability for stretching.

What, for you, has been the most surprising and enjoyable part of becoming a mother? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.