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Question

Hi, I have a 6 year old daughter. Lately I am beginning to have problems with her sleeping. She seems to hate sleeping at night almost fighting it. She will lie in bed and do her best not to fall asleep. She will then wake up continuously in the night asking for water or throwing a tantrum because she says she is hungry or she wants to come sleep in my bed. Where I know there is no way she can be hungry and I put a cup of water out next to her bed so I know she is just making exscuses. I am a single mom but have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. We stay with him alot of the time but she has never had problems with sleeping there and has always slept through there, whereas at home she started waking up a couple of months ago. Recently she started waking at his house as well. I know there could be contributing factors. She has just started Grade 1 but seems to love school and is excelling acedemically and has made lots of friends and is enjoying her sport. Also a week or two ago my boyfriend moved so since then she is waking at his house as well. How do I go about getting her to sleep again and what do you think could be causing this. Thanks.


Answer

PARENTING
Dear Kay, Sleep – or not sleeping, can become such a habit. Sometimes, just because a child wakes for some reason one night, they then begin waking every night. The best thing that a parent can do is to be as firm, yet calm as possible. Stick to a very predictable bedtime routine. Then expect the child to stay in her bed/her room – even if she is not yet ready to fall asleep. Many parents get into power struggles over insisting that the child falls asleep. The issue should be staying in bed. The child can read, play quietly with soft toys, listen to a gently music C.D etc. They will usually fall asleep in spite of themselves. If they wake at night, adopt the same approach. Be gentle, yet very firm. If they say they are hungry, be very firm. "You had your supper and we will have breakfast when we wake up – now you can drink your water because we do not eat during the night" Usually making these excuses is just an attention-seeking ploy! The problem is that, if the parent gives in to the requests,the child will just develop a very bad habit. Of course, make sure that she is getting plenty of positive attention during the day and that there is a calm and structured bedtime routine.' Then remain very firm and consistent when the night time "fun and games" starts!! Good luck

- Anne Cawood

 
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