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9 January 2008

10 steps to effective time-out

When your toddler is throwing a tantrum, don’t lash out... take time-out. Here’s how to go about it.

When your toddler is not listening to you or his behavior is getting out of control it is time to remove him to a quiet place where he will have time to calm down.

Follow these steps for effective time-out:
1. Select a time-out place (see our guide below for options).
2. Tell your toddler that his behaviour is unacceptable and it will lead to a time-out if it continues.
3. If your direction has not been adhered to within an acceptable time, calmly take your child to the place you have selected without lecturing, scolding or arguing.
4. Tell your child to remain in the room or corner.
5. Leave the room
6. When he is sitting quietly set the timer (one or two minutes for every year of age)
7. When the time is over, return to the room and tell your child that the time-out is over
8. Restate the original direction
9. Implement the time-out again if your child does not comply.
10. When the child complies it is very important to praise him so he learns what behaviour is expected.

Do not apologise to your child for ‘punishing’ him and do not succumb to tantrums, shouting or protesting. It is important that your child knows that the time-out is not over until he has been quiet for at least the last minute of the allocated time.

Best options for time-out location

Hallway

Parents room

Kitchen corner (for 2 – 3 year olds)

A corner or chair where he cannot be distracted

Least Desirable

Child’s bedroom

Not options

Bathroom

Cupboard

Dark room

A place where you know your child could be frightened.

Problems and Solutions

Refusing to sit in the chair – do not start time-out until your child is seated and has quietened down.

Leaving chair or moving – stop the time. Remove the privilege if he does not return to the chair (for 5 year olds and up).

Yelling, crying or insulting you verbally – ignore the child

Refusing to leave the time-out – start the time out again.

Sibling interaction during time-out – if feasible put the sibling in time-out in another location.

Give it a chance to work (at least 2 weeks)!

What works for you? Share tips and advice in the comment box below.

Previously published in Your Baby magazine, Subscribe now and save

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i have 11 months baby girl and im also working and studying at the same time.sometimes i become too tired to take care of my bundle of joy.what can i do im too depressed help.

viola on 03.03.2008 at 21:31

i have not been successful with time out with my daughter. She is a big girl, at 3 she is 43 lbs and half my size. though i am pretty strong, its a real struggle. i have found that putting her beloved dolls and toys on time out works though.

April on 19.03.2008 at 14:59