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Sex after pregnancy
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Some gynaes suggest that you'll be ready to make love again after your two-week check up. Others recommend waiting for up to six weeks. When is the right time?
Article: Shelagh Whitby from Your Pregnancy magazine
The truth is that you can make love as soon as you want to. You will know when you're physically and emotionally ready. Regardless of your levels of sexual desire during pregnancy, resuming a sex life after you've had your baby is often not a simple affair. There are a number of reasons for this:

  • Your body has been through a major trauma, whether you delivered vaginally or via caesarean. You may feel bruised, have had stitches, and still be experiencing swelling around your perineum. Allow your body to recover before attempting intercourse. In the meantime, lots of cuddling and warm affection will support the bond between you and your partner. And when you feel ready, start with gentle oral or manual sex until you're 100% confident.

  • You may not like the way you look. A slack tummy and leaking nipples can make any woman feel more like a cow that a lover – but don't assume that's how your partner feels about you. You are the amazing woman who recently gave birth to his child, so don't sell yourself short. He is probably a lot more concerned about hurting you, than the fact that you may have put on a few kilos, so encourage your partner to gently reacquaint himself with your post-pregnancy body.

  • You feel under pressure. Perhaps you stopped making love during the latter weeks, or months, of your pregnancy and your partner is hinting loudly that it's time to get back into action. While his feelings are perfectly understandable, you shouldn't feel pressurised into doing anything you're not ready for.

    In Conception, Pregnancy and Birth, Dr Miriam Stoppard says: "If both of you are happy about it, and there is no medical objection to it, you can resume sexual activity as soon as you feel the desire to do so. In addition, making love can have a beneficial effect for a number of reasons. For example, it reaffirms your affection and desire for each other, and the hormone released during sexual activity causes contractions to your uterus, which helps it return to its pre-pregnant state."

  • Exhaustion is the biggest dampener of libido and it's almost impossible to get in the mood when you've had six hours sleep in the last two days. But this may be the time to remind yourself that "the more you do it, the more you'll feel like it". Those days of leisurely, blissful lovemaking might be over for the time being, but there's nothing better for a flagging libido than sex itself.

  • One of the by-products of breastfeeding is the hormone prolactin and one of the side effects of prolactin is a reduced libido. The original reason for this was so that women wouldn't be inclined to have sex and fall pregnant while still nurturing a small baby. These days there are many reliable forms of contraception, but no one got around to telling your body this, so the message that resounds in your brain is "abstinence". Believe it or not, one of the best ways of countering this message is exercise. Now you probably feel like going to the gym as little as you feel like being a sex goddess, but even a 2km walk pushing the stroller will be a help – and it will help you get back into shape too.

  • But without a doubt, the most important aspect of resuming your sex life is communication. If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and bewildered by new parenthood, rest assured that your partner is too. Talk to each other and respect each other's concerns. Becoming a parent takes love to a whole new level, and if you're patient with each other, your lovemaking will follow.

    Image: Your Pregnancy magazine


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