You have to feel sexy in order to be sexual. So look sexy! If you hit the shops, choose clothing with your eyes closed – feel the fabric first and consider if having this fabric rubbing against your skin will do it for you.

It really isn't all about having the perfect body, it's about having perfect confidence and clothes help us reflect a kick-ass attitude.

See that you have a bowl of flowers, a plant or pictures on your walls that stimulate your sense of vision. Always have nice smells that envelope you as you walk into your sacred space – incense, fragrant flowers, pot pourri or burning aroma oils.

If music creates "aha" in your heart and body, keep it playing in your boudoir whenever you choose. Have a bowl of fruit, chocolates, candy or body chocolate available for when you want your mouth and tongue to be awakened and reminded of potential tasty delights.

Soft covers, fur, throws, silk, cushions, cotton linen complete your boudoir.

I recommend for vibe newbies the Pocket Rocket, which is a clitoral stimulator only. For experienced woman, nothing but the best for you – try the Pearl Diver. This vibe simultaneously stimulates your clitoris and vagina as the pearls swirl and vibrate in your vagina and the pecking dolphin gives your clit the action it requires.

For G Zone curious women, the Bush Warrior is the vibe for you – shaped to hit the area in your vagina known as the G zone.

Toys are a girl's guaranteed way of learning how to become orgasmic. Investing in taking time to learn how to become orgasmic is essential for the woman who wants to create a sexual lifestyle. It gives her sexual confidence and knowledge of her own body to share with her partner.

Your lover needs seduction, teasing and taunting, just like you do. Yes, perhaps he immediately wants genital action the minute you show him some interest. Train him to relax and just receive your sensual touches that may or may not become sexual.

It's a good idea for you alone or with your partner to watch sexuality educational videos. It will arouse, inspire and educate you – routine sex is soo boring.

Introducing any new touch, toy, technique will definitely excite him. So take responsibility for this newness, and he should do the same.

Ask yourself:

As difficult is "the talk" with him, which is always done when both of you are relaxed and open to learning about each other's intimacy needs. Never criticise him, always compliment him on the good stuff he is already doing.

Then encourage him to try some of the things you have discovered really excite you. Be very specific in telling him what these things are. Like, "I love it when you touch my inner thigh so gently. It would feel even better if you included touch of my outer vulva lips at the same time." Create your own sexy, spunky, dirty, romantic words.

Spring into this sexual lifestyle with abandon, responsibility, and passion!

Unfulfilling sex lives

Her loss of desire for sexual activity
Most commonly presented problem: she has no desire to be sexual, else she has desire but is unsatisfied with the kind of sex she is having.

Reasons for this are numerous:

Solutions:
To overcome your ignorance, fear and inhibitions follow my guide to a sexual lifestyle.

His lack of sexual desire
More commonly presented than one would imagine: Men loose desire to be sexual for the same reasons as women. Also, believe it or not, there are many men who do not think about sexuality 24/7. These low-desire men feel pressure to perform when their women are higher desire than them. They withdraw even more and relationship tension then becomes painful and obvious. Communication, essential to solving this discrepancy, seldom happens.

Solutions:

Her lack of orgasms
33% of women in the world struggle to become orgasmic. Of those that are orgasmic, one third are always orgasmic, one third are a third of the time orgasmic and one third seldom orgasmic.

Primary reasons why women struggle to become orgasmic:

Solutions:

Ask Dr Eve, (Marlene Wasserman) our sex expert, your personal question.