Tips for sensual lovemaking

And listen to this if you need further convincing (courtesy of Ramsdale and Dorman in Sexual Energy Ecstasy):

historically, young knights would offer "courtly love" to women who were frequently married to noblemen or other male power figures. Such love included nude embraces and caresses and, interestingly, ravishing the naked noblewoman's body for hours with the eyes. Apparently these relationships lifted and fired their imaginations and psyches to much higher levels than mere sexual relations. It's like female Viagra administered straight from your eyes to her... Time to move on to the next tip.

2. Take your time
See it as the ultimate "love-athon" but without the aim of beating Carl Lewis. Feel yourself settling into the rhythm of each other's bodies, not dictated by early morning alarm clocks or pots boiling on the stove. Set aside hours to climb the sensual peaks and troughs of your lover's body.

A work colleague – I know one's not meant to discuss these matters with your mates from work – told me that her guy has her body mapped. He knows that her nipples are sensitive. "Sometimes he stands behind me, slips his hands under my shirt and trails his fingers over my nipples. I start to tingle but then he stops and looks at me, all wicked and sexy. I feel as if I'm melting."

3. Dynamite without the explosion
Ever heard of the Karezza Method? The end result – get this – isn't orgasm. The aim is to relax and enjoy mutual touching. In fact you are only meant to orgasm when you want to conceive a child. It's the iron man of lovemaking: endless, gruelling and designed to keep you hard for a long time to come.

It's meant to teach control of the orgasm response for spiritual benefits. Hmm – to each his (or her) own, I say.

4. Pre-foreplay warm-up
Get her in the mood by conducting foreplay before the foreplay. Write her a sensual love story which you leave in an envelope in the car. In it she's a beautiful princess and you're her suitor, determined to spend a night of passion with your lady love. Remember it's sensual, it's romantic and you're in charge of creating the anticipation (half the secret of an incredible love-making session).

When you finally begin making love, touch those parts of her that you seldom touch during the run-of-the-mill sex act, such as her eyelids (tip: make her close her eyes first), cheekbones and contours of her lips. Touch the base of her spine, between her shoulder blades, the tip of her nose, her knees – parts of her that are seldom stroked.

Vary your touch every 30 to 60 seconds, as well as the pressure of your touch, from light trailing fingers or lips to harder touches. This builds sexual tension.

5. Constant touch
If you're going to give her a sensual massage, make sure that you always keep one hand on her body; probably something to do with the transfer of energy. But, more simply, it just keeps the two of you constantly physically connected.