Let go of externally induced ideas about how you should look and very importantly the concept that we should look "sexy", as narrowly defined by the media, in order to be sexual. As I mentioned earlier as women we generally need to touch our hearts with love (including self-love) before we can motivate our genitals.

Relax
Set aside private time when you know you won't be disturbed. Banish your stressful thoughts and tensions related to your job, kids or whatever else. Take a long warm sensual bath and focus on being present for your self inside you body.

Look at yourself
Getting to know our own genitals is one of the ways we can liberate ourselves from the legacy of sexual shame. Take a mirror and examine our own vagina and see its beauty. Also see exactly where our clitoris is and what our vagina does as it contracts and relaxes.

Breathe
Breathing deeply helps us to relax and fills our body with sexual energy. Don't hold your breath let it flow.

Fantasise
Thinking sexy thoughts is one of the biggest turn-ons. Most of have hundreds of fantasies in our heads that we aren't even aware of. Giving ourselves permission to explore them it one of best ways get turned on and to turn our arousal into an orgasm.

Touch and tease
Slowly start to touch your self. Try different positions such as standing up or lying on your tummy. Stimulate your clitoris with one or more fingers and try out different pressures, speeds and motions such as circles and up and down strokes. Many women find that lubricant can really help to get them started. When you feel a plateau of sexual tension, back away from it and temporarily reduce or stop stimulation. Teasing yourself like this helps you to build up you sexual tension in cycles: when you do finally orgasm it will be far more intense.

Up and over
Some women find they get to a point of almost coming, but simply cannot get over that edge. If you are stuck on that precipice try altering your breathing, changing what you are doing or adding extra stimulation by caressing your nipples, thinking about a very hot fantasy or including internal stimulation with your other hand or a dildo.

Ready? Then it's time to get set and go.

Got any tips of your own you'd like to share? Tell us in the comment box below.