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18 March 2008
Where have all the virgins gone?

 
They are everywhere and they are pissed. Sam Wilson reports.

 

I was having a dinner party a few weeks ago, when my friend Sarah threw her fork on to her plate in a clattery, quieten-the-room kind of way.

"I am going to say this once and once only," she said. "My name is Sarah and I am a twenty-five-year-old virgin. There. I have said it. Now... do feel free to continue to talk about the weirdest places you have ever had sex. Don't mind me."

We all looked at Sarah in surprise.

"How come you have never said anything before?" I asked.

"For a number of reasons," snapped Sarah. "One: It is none of your business. Two: you talk about sex all the time and it makes me feel funny, because you always simply assume that I have sex even though you have known me for years, and know that I haven't had a serious boyfriend before. So, short of me having to make the kind of announcement I have just made – what options did you leave me?"

Sarah is right.

Our generation is so busy applauding the fact that we can now have sex freely, experimentally and without the need for marriage or commitment, we have completely missed the fact that we didn't shatter the traditional sex taboos – we merely moved them.

So, while previously any woman who had sex before marriage was a slag and any woman who wasn't married by 25 was a sad spinster, we have now simply shifted the misogyny goalposts: now, if you haven't had sex by 25, you are either a religious freak or ridiculously picky or repressed. A really great social stereotype in an HIV/Aids-ridden society, where casual sex is more dangerous than ever before.

How sad is that? I am appalled..., both by the way I personally fall foul of these subconscious judgements, and the way, once again, women are revealed as being our own worst enemies.

Surely, the goal is for us to be able to have sex whenever each of us, individually, feel comfortable doing so? What do you think?


 
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Well said! I have a friend who is still a virgin at almost 29. I applaude her, because having sex is easy saying no is harder. Whatever her reasons and i know what they are don't matter because she has stayed true to herself. A lesson we could all learn.
Grace on 13.04.2008 at 09:37

 

I am 24 year old women am still a virgin. There is nothing wrong with it. I have friends who talk about sex all the time? How do you tell them that you waiting for the right one? I think its a good idea to wait it keeps you HIV free.
Cassie on 19.04.2008 at 21:26

 

I applaud all virgins out there b'cause I know that sex is a God-given thing but depends on the timing(after marriage),and I beleave that it should only be your husband that you it with if not that is fornication.
Tgee on 24.04.2008 at 10:02

 

I am 33 years old and still a virgin. Not due to any lack of opportunity, but by choice. I have not met a man I would be willing to marry (maybe because I am ridiculously picky) and I am not willing to get into every bed until I meet Prince Charming. There are a lot of us out there, but we tend to keep quite when every one talks about where, when and how they had sex. I am not ashamed of it and regularly and proudly confesses my lack of experience to the world. We try to engourage abstinence ito teenage sex, but do not lead by example. It is time we teach children that they control their choices in life and being wise is not being a prude or "a religious freak or ridiculously picky or repressed".
Me on 29.04.2008 at 15:01

 

lets just have sex because it is nice and enjoyeble.
Thami on 13.05.2008 at 10:05

 


 
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