Article: Carla Williams from Men's Health

Or perhaps it's just the thought of escaping the real world. One thing's for sure: hotel rooms are absolutely guilt-free. You can stay in your room naked – or barely clothed – the whole day and night, order room service, have bubble baths, do practically nothing ... and that bed is always the most prominent piece of furniture in the room. You watch TV from the bed, you often eat your room-service meal on the bed. That's just too tempting for most couples. It is for me.

Water works

Lucky for you, girls love the look of their bodies when they're wet. Our breasts are perkier, our skin feels smoother and our bodies somehow seem sleeker. So spend quality time together in your hotel's bathroom.

An ex and I once spent a glorious night in a luxury spa hotel. The rooms were spacey and expensive with solid, masculine furniture. The "bathroom" and huge tub were part of the bedroom too, separated only by a fine mesh curtain that could be drawn, or not. There were designer bath salts, thick flannel robes and piles of thirsty white towels.

While we'd planned the stay specially to spend the time in the spa, we spent our entire evening in and out of the spacious soapy bath, taking turns to slide all over each other. All my thrashing around caused a flood in our room, but after we'd had breakfast in the dining room the next the day, there wasn't a trace of the waterworld we'd inhabited the night before.

If your room doesn't have a great big bath, all is not lost. Don't overlook the shower and its toe-pointingly-good-orgasm-giving shower hose nozzle. Personally, there's not much that can beat that showerhead in the right spot, with the built-in shower shelf to hold me up while I have the most insane climax. By the way, it's very easy for girls to manage this without a man, but it's always better when you're guiding the nozzle.

That's what's so crucial to crazy hotel sex – us girls want you to be there. I was chatting to my man the other night about going away for a few days. I was thinking skinny dips in the pool, sex in the mirror with my very high heels on, about a sweat-inducing shared sauna and cool cotton sheets wrapped against my naked body. And that's why I'm going back for more.

Get down and dirty

Five surefire passion-killers in a hotel

As a basic requirement for sexiness, any accommodation you book should be clean. I don't know any woman who would get down on her hands and knees on a grimey carpet or arch her body over sheets that someone else has ruffled. Dirty sex in a clean place is good sex, but dirty sex in a dirty place is just plain nasty.

1. Dirty sheets
Nothing will put an end to your nookie faster than bedding that feels unclean. A colleague once found a used condom in her Bloemfontein hotel bed. Ugh.

2. The rogue pube in the bathroom
Absolute horror at the thought of it not belonging to either of you.

3. Dry walls and cramped spaces next to the bed
Although the idea of strangers so close might ignite your fantasy, hearing them performing their ablutions or watching Super Saturday is sure to put a damper on proceedings in your room.

4. Rude or indiscreet staff
Nothing can quite take away from your getaway as much as a rude receptionist, cocky concierge or a harridan of a housekeeper.

5. Chintz and florals
Taste goes a long way when you're looking at B&Bs or guesthouses. Remember toilet seat covers, floral bed frills and plastic headboards do nothing to make her feel like a princess and everything to make her feel like she's in her grandmother's house.

Image: Stefan May/Men's Health