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SA women are superwomen


 
The Women24 Female Nation Survey shows that SA sisters doing absolutely everything for themselves. Do you agree?

 

The Female Nation Survey 2007* has revealed that 87% of SA women, who are the main breadwinners in their families, are also the primary care-givers of children.

Which begs the question: what happened to the nuclear family myth where Dad's out earning and Mom's home childminding? And if so many women are doing both... what are the men in our lives doing? And, if it is – as the evidence suggests – very little, why do we let them get away with it?

Shelagh Foster, editor of Your Pregnancy magazine has written a lovely piece for us on the concept of being a single married parent, and a lot of our readers have already responded, one admitting, "I am recently separated myself and I must say, there really isn't that much difference."

Another reader says that "what men don't realise is that by NOT being there, they make us stronger."

91% of divorced and separated women are the main breadwinners in their households, while 85% of all divorced or separated women are primary caregivers. Add to this the fact that over 60% of SA women feel involved/connected to their communities... and a picture emerges of a nation of women who are very much used to looking after themselves, their children and others.

Do these findings strike home for you? Or do you think that SA men are getting an unfair rap, and in fact do pull their own weight? (Men! We invite you to write in too!)

Please get involved in the debate by making use of the comment box below. We'd love to hear from you, whether you agree with the Female Nation Survey results or not.

* The Female Nation survey was designed, analysed and weighted by external quantitative researchers. The sample group of around 7 500 responses has been weighted (by age, race and income) to represent urban, SA women earning over R3 000, as per the SA Labour Force Survey of 2006; i.e.: some 2 million SA women.


 
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I'm married, I have a challenging job in the IT industry and we have two pre-school kids. I actually took part in the survey, and the results ring 100% true in my case. Sometimes I really think I'd be better off on my own, since then at least I don't have the added aggravation of getting angry because I'm shouldering most of the responsibility for our lives. Then I know it's just me and only me.
Maritza van den Heuvel - IT Industry on 22 Mar at 17:15

 

(spit on me for grossly simplifying the situation, but...) Men are largely driven by a need to feel useful. In the increasingly female-centric world we live in, it is becoming clearly demonstrated (or at least reported) that men are not necessary. Our physical attributes are denigrated, our input at the office is rapidly becoming irrelevant (both in quality and quantity), sexually we are all apparently idiots and at home our low EQ makes us less than ideal candidates for child-rearing or, indeed, anything other than the occassional odd-job. Is it any wonder that so many of us escape to TV, video games and alcohol? After all, laziness is a symptom of not having the confidence to act. We are second-class citizens (by media-volume if not by employment stats) and our only real expectation of joy is if women pity us enough to permit us to be in the same room. We are a lost tribe. We are raised by women to a world that women have made and our only innate skills are trivialised and ridiculed. (and oh yes, this is a world made by women, no matter who the actual rulers were. Does anyone seriously believe that men, with all our dispicable traits, would willingly create any society as unmasculine as western culture?) Of course we do nothing. What could we possibly do that lets us be ourselves and that would not leave us ashamed by our masculinity? (for the record, I'm successfully employed, have a wonderful marriage and am comfortable with the way the world is. I just like to stress unpopular opinions for fun)
George on 22 Mar at 18:10

 

Although somewhat simplistic, this issue stems from the previous decades where millions of women had to do without their partners, married or not, to raise the children. And, as they were ambitious for their children not to become mere house cleaners as well, they made sure they got as good an education as they could possibly afford. This strength and example (if you can do it, I can) has been passed on to the growing tide of divorced and single women parenting children today and because it simply has to be done, it is - irrespective of race.
C van soelen on 22 Mar at 19:07

 

I have a wonderful husband and wouldn't swophim for anything - when he is at home. He works in that world called "the film industry" and the hours are quite horrendous, so if I am lucky, I get to see him on a Sunday, that's if he isn't too exhausted to do anything other than sleep. Although we don't have children, we have cats and dogs and friends and obligations, all of which I end up trying to fit into my day. I work from home, so that helps, but by the time I have done the shopping, the vet run (we have a LOT of animals), my work, some social events (well, I try to stay in touch with everybody on behalf of both of us), get yelled at by the family because I never have time for them, try to fit in some time for me, I am usually reeling...... I am angry so often, but what can I do? The money is good from his side, but WOW. Anyway, my desperate two cents worth - at the end of the day, we are women and we can handle it !
Extreme Velcro on 23 Mar at 07:48

 

if men lived their lives according to the Biblical principals ther would be fewer angry women and less divorce cases much more happy kids because they werent coming from broken homes and frustrated spouses my motto is my kids rather have i happy parent than 2 fighting parents
shanitha on 23 Mar at 07:51

 

In the old days, the man provided the house and the money and the wife cooked, cleaned and raised babies. Now woman play both roles, and you cant help but wonder why we should bother getting married because men hardly add any value?
Tennille on 23 Mar at 08:00

 

Very true, we are the care givers. Most men are just too concerned about making money, driving flasy cars and being sperm donors. We do it all by ourselves, and true that by all the things they do to us, they are making us very strong individuals. i speak from experience.
Boni on 23 Mar at 08:15

 

I agree and I disagree. My husband is really trying hard to contribute in and around the house. I admit if I wasn't there the family would be eating junk food, scramble eggs and toast all the time, the house would be a mess, the children would go to bed anytime between 21:00 and 23:00 and they'd be dressed like orphans. But, I my husband weren't around, the swimming pool would be green all the time, we wouldn't have good security, the cars would never be serviced, the children would never be taken fishing or on quad rides. It is just a fact of life, men and women are differently inclined. They want to solve problems, fix things and protect their loved ones while we want to care for and nurture. I think both sides have come a long way. I take my car for a service, know how to back wash the pool, pay my own accounts and discipline the children, but my husband bath the children, take them to school, put them to bed when needed, play with the children, feed them (even though not the healthiest food around) and has taken time of work many a times to look after a sick child. Women need to think hard about what they really want and what they do to empower the men in their lifes. Are you always complaining about the food he prepares, the way he dresses the children etc or do you appreciate his attempts. My last and final say, yes women are doing much more than our mothers and grandmothers used to do, but do we really want it differently?
Carina on 23 Mar at 11:34

 

I suppose the article is relevant to certain individuals. I am in a marriage where my husbands shares the responsibility with me. I suppose if women take laziness lying down, then we are going to breed a society of lazy, useless and irresponsible men.
B on 23 Mar at 11:54

 

I am one of the millions of superwomen out there. I am a successful sales rep for an international company, I have raised two healthy very well balanced kids, and I have a very lazy husband that contributes very little. I am the breadwinner at home, get up every morning to make sandwiches, take kids to school, fetch and carry too and from sport, cook supper every night, and put the kids to bed. My husband gets up an hour and a half after me, goes to work at his leisure, and gets home after supper is made, homework is done and kids are bathed. I am then expected to be wonderwife, and do acrobatics in the bedroom. If I ask him to do anything he jumps down my throat about being stressed. Live my life for a month, darling, and see how you cope then. I admit readily that it is MY fault for allowing it to get to this point, but right now, I feel that all he is actually good for is picking up the dog poo. And I am starting to seriously think I will be better off without him....
BR on 23 Mar at 12:18

 


 
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