No sex for oldies?
Lauren Scholtz fervently hopes not to fall into the statistical trap of marital sex drought.
'Hey honey, unwrap this?'
Muneeba Martin looks at the unlikelihood of SA women getting their husbands to use condoms.
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Image: True Love
The Women24 2008 Female Nation Survey statistics show that 70% of married women do not use any form of barrier protection when having sex.
Is this a big deal?
Call me naive but I cannot understand why any married woman has to wear a condom with the person she shares the most intimate and sacred relationship with in the world. Isn't the whole point of getting married to drop the condom?
When mentioning this statistic to a friend, she responded: "I've been happily married for 10 years and have 3 gorgeous kids. How do I even begin to suggest using the condom to my husband? Should I buy a packet and say something like "how about we start using these?"
At that point her husband walks in (obviously having overheard the whole conversation) and, without blinking, he says: "The only reason you would suggest the middleman is if you don’t
trust me!"
Wife: "Its not that I don’t trust you, it's just..."
But she didn't know what to say.
What's happening to this world? Where are our beliefs, ethics, and morals? Do we really have to watch our backs this close to home, or is this just another way for society to make us more paranoid?
I think whether you decide to introduce "the middleman" to your relationship entirely depends on how much you trust your spouse, after all what's a relationship without it.
What do you think? And who's responsibility should "the middleman" be? Please let us know. Have your voice heard and join the debate by making use of the comment box below.
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| ITS NOT ABOUT TRUST!!! What if the women does not want to have any more kids and does not want to use the pill or go on the injection? then trully........................the condom is the way to go. | ||
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| Thando on 13 Aug at 14:13 |
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| Condoms are great. They make clean up easy, stop all STD (like thrush and others that are not necessarily due to infidelity), and are non-damaging contraceptives. And yes, I am happily married to a considerate man. | ||
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| Melanie on 13 Aug at 14:56 |
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| Let's be honest: it's always the woman who gets left with the "mess" (as with most things in life). Think that it's only fair that the man also has to do the obligatory trip to the loo afterwards. Yay feminism! :) | ||
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| ML on 13 Aug at 14:59 |
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| I have been with my partner for over 4 years, We're getting married next year. I feel that in my monogamous relationship the only point of wearing a condom is for birth control. And with so many other more "comfortable" contraceptive options, I see no reason for it. Condoms smell funny, hurt me as a woman, and they are very expensive (Durex). I was happy to stop using them after fitting a Mirena. The only downside is the mess, but I just shower afterwards and use a pantyliner. | ||
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| Lulu on 13 Aug at 15:45 |
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| What is shocking is the number of married woman in South Africa who are being given HIV by their husbands or long-term partners. And they often only find out they've got the virus when they're pregnant! If he has any respect for you he will use a condom when he sleeps around. How much do you really trust him to do that? I say go for an HIV test together before you stop using condoms. The alternative is far to frightening! Don't leave your health and the wellbeing of your children in a man's hands. | ||
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| May on 14 Aug at 09:24 |
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| Is it as effective in preventing the transmission of HIV? Because then I'd encourage married woman to use it and avoid that awkward conversation about trust and the middleman. Ladies you've got to protect yourselves! | ||
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| Yam on 14 Aug at 09:27 |
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| Once condoms are introduced in the marriage the relationship will start to be sour | ||
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| Abram on 14 Aug at 09:36 |
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| I don't know hey.... The thing is you never think your man is cheating on you! You both go for tests before you stop using them and the fool will still cheat on you without using protection with others. And he still has the nerve to come home to you and sleep with you without protection!!! Because if he suggested you use protection, men are scared that we women will think that they have been unfaithful whent hey full know they were. Messed up situation if you ask me. All I know is at some point your man will cheat on you and he will not use protection and he will be too ashamed to admit it and thus not protect you to protect himself. | ||
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| Vuyo on 14 Aug at 09:41 |
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| Lets see, it prevents HIV, STIs, unwanted pregnancies, cervical cancer and can be part of foreplay. The majority of HIV transmissions in hetero couples happens in marriages!! Perhaps being respnsible and having tests to know your status would prevent many arguments about trust. | ||
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| Gareth on 14 Aug at 09:48 |
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| Lets see, it prevents HIV, STIs, unwanted pregnancies, cervical cancer and can be part of foreplay. The majority of HIV transmissions in hetero couples happens in marriages!! Perhaps being respnsible and having tests to know your status would prevent many arguments about trust. | ||
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| Gareth on 14 Aug at 09:48 |
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