I had been engaged for 9 months at this stage so it is obvious that this conversation did not happen earlier and the fact that he was married, of course, completely ok and without impact to his career. Surely the fact that he died 3 years later from stomach cancer, leaving 2 boys under the age of 3 begs a few questions? Would he have contracted cancer if he had not experienced the stress of being a director in such a competitive field? Would he have spent more time with those boys if he had known he would not be around? Would he not have put more value on being home than being at the office and actually beat me out the door? I think the answer is a no-brainer.

After processing his suggestion, I joined a bank as a legal advisor and was blessed to work for a manager who understood and respected the fact that I had a personal life. When I had my kids, he gave me 6 months maternity leave both times and allowed me to work half day for 6 months upon my return from maternity leave, again both times.

I firmly agree that I am ambivalent about the glass ceiling because I do not care to shatter it – I want to put my pen down at 2pm and go home to my kids. But none of that means that I am not capable of making a more than meaningful contribution to my employer in the 6 hours that I am paid to work. But attitudes are changing: I am completely mobile (laptop, 3G, remote access etc.) and my bosses do not care where I work but simply that I do.

My direct manager is however a female colleague (and a very good friend) who started out at the same level as me but who has not just shattered the glass ceiling, but obliterated it. We simply made different choices. Did I mention that she phones me all the time for advice on work-life balance? And is wracked with guilt because she feels that she does not spend enough time with her kids?

Yours in watching my kids learn to read, swim, ride a bike, collect ants on the driveway, laugh at dandelions and become best friends.

–Barbara