Article: Lili Radloff from women24
Image: Getty images

What type of shower?
Originally there was the Kitchen Tea. This involved home-made snacks, recipe ideas from maiden aunts and a fair amount of spatulas. Then the Hen’s Night or Bachelorette was born, complete with strippers, Tequila slammers and raunchy gifts.

How to choose?
If you’re the person organising this particular shindig, it probably means that you’re close to the bride, so you should know what she would enjoy and feel comfortable with. So if her mother is dead set on a koek en tee and her varsity pals are rooting for a pole dancing lesson, it’s up to you to use your authority as BFF and decide what the bride would want. If that turns out to be a cosy dinner with the girls, you’d better start phoning restaurants.

More than one shower?
Not keen on having the bride’s granny cavorting with the stripper? (An image, incidentally, that will haunt you for the rest of your days…) Or worried that Crazy Kate might spike the punch at the kitchen tea? Rather be safe and have two showers. (Ha. Not all fun and games being a bridesmaid, is it?)

Guest list and invitations?
Only invite guests who are also invited to the wedding. And really, invitations via email and/or sms is perfectly okay. We’re trying to save a planet here, people.

Don’t insist on embarrassing the bride
If she just adored the madcap pranks you used to play on hockey tours, then by all means make her wear a tea towel on her head whilst dipping for Smarties in a bowl of flour. But do remember, where you see fun and games she might read humiliation and ridicule.

Don’t overdo things
While we’re on the topic – puking before the wedding should be due to nerves, for pity’s sake, not too many flaming Sambuccas.

Food and drinks
In South Africa it’s perfectly acceptable for the cost of the shower to be shared by the guests. Phew.

Gifts
When it comes to presents, almost anything goes. Books, toiletries, spa vouchers, lingerie, kitchenware, scented candles, chocolate body paint, the list goes on. Generally though, most guests appreciate a few guidelines. As host it’s often a good idea to compile a wish list together with the bride. And make sure of her size. Mistake a C for an A cup, and you can forget about catching that bouquet.

So. Old or bold? Mild or wild? Traditional or quirky? Remember: a bridal shower is all about celebrating love and friendship. Keep that in mind and you can’t go too wrong.