When things are overwhelming (because of the weight that it bears or the risk it poses) we could struggle to hold the issue mentally for long enough to think it through properly or the impact on us physically (heart beating in my throat, sweating and feeling like you're not able to breath) while thinking about the issue might be so unpleasant that we drop it. In other words we push it aside, breath deeply and think of something else, vowing unconsciously to not re-visit it again soon.
The thing is that while we feel more comfortable the moment we just let it go, the issue doesn't disappear and resurfaces every now and again (the intensity and discomfort usually increasing with time) until we find a way to deal with it.
Here are some questions that will help you work through the issue at hand step by step in a practical way:
Firstly, you'll need to look at what it is that you'd want financially.
- What exactly does good look like to you?
- What are your needs for the future?
These questions will help you become clear about what your goals are. Secondly, find out if your husband are striving in the same direction as you.
- Are you able to voice your needs to your husband?
- And are your needs aligned or are there differences?
- If there are differences are you able to compromise in a way that still makes you feel that you will eventually be living your real life?
These questions will give you an indication of your options to either move forward with him or not.
Next, look at your strategy for getting where you want to go.
Search for and speak to people who have gotten where you want to be.
- What where their setbacks?
- Are there books you can read that will give you ideas of what you'd like to include in your strategy?
- Are there any other information (Internet etc) that you can get in terms of making it happen?
These questions will help you formalize a strategy to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Lastly, execute your plan step by step.
- If you look at all the information that you've gathered, what sits right with you?
- What does your personal strategy include?
- What would you need to do firstly, secondly, thirdly...?
Get all the support you can in terms of people that are on your side and experts that you can contact when you need direction or wisdom.
Realize that it might take a while to realize your dream and live the life that you intend to but it is possible!