QUESTION

Hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. about 4 months ago he had a bbm fling with a married woman (who he dated in school) and broke up with me. he soon realised his mistake and we got back together. a month ago he started chatting with a female friend. at first i didn't mind because they were friends for a long time befor i met him. then he started complaining about me to her. then he broke up with me saying he needs space to sort himself out but he loves me. then he said he doesn't love me. then we had a huge fight about 3 weeks ago where he told me he wants nothing to do with me. i was upset and drank an entire bottle of pills. the following day i did a positive pregnancy test. At first i didn't want to tell him at all, but eventually i did. first thing he said was that i should go for abortion. then we talked more and he said he will support me and be there for me and the baby. then we got back together and his female "friend" was so upset that she broke off all contact with him. i went to take a blood test to confirm pregnancy wich came out negative. but still me and my boyfriend was going strong. on friday night the female "friend" sent him a text saying he made a mistake and he should've stayed with her etc. oh and did i mention he told me that he loves her, but she doesn't feel the same? i have talked to her as well and i realise that she only likes the attention she gets from him. she doesn't want him, but she also doesn't want him to be happy with anyone else. I do believe he loves me too. i'm just constantly in fear that she is going to do something to make him leave me (like the last time) i don't want to lose him i love him so much. this morning she sent him a text saying that he has left his ID book there he must come and get it. he works alternative days and i really don't want him to go during the week (alone) but whenever i talk about her to him he withdraws completely. so i don't want to actually tell him i don't want him to go alone... what should i do? everyday i fear that he will leave me. i try to tame my temper (which drove him away from me in the first place) so i'm constantly rethinking everything before is say something. it feels unnatural to me, but if we fight he just goes running to her. so now i am quiet and biting on my lip not saying what i want to say. how can i feel more secure in my relationship?