Dear Annie In all relationships boundaries relate to the misuse of power and play a big role. You could start by identifying a single area where boundaries affecting your children are being violated. In order for you to bring change, you would need to build greater value about how you respond in this new environment. The process is more about you building what you value, than about what everyone else is doing. Discuss one area you would like to see changed with your husband and see if he will back your stance. Don’t ask him to change at this stage and only start with one issue. Change happens one response at a time.