QUESTION

I have been married for 8 years now to my 2nd husband. I am 43 he is 45. My son is 15 and daughter 13.

He has, since we got married, changed to a jealous, possessive man accusing me of affairs left right and centre. I am an attractive woman (to give you an idea) and he says "A beautiful woman is everybody's woman).

He comes home and suddenly lets rip about who knows what when we haven't done anything at all. He is verbally abusive and asked me last night "When last have you done your wifely duties". I am not a womens' liberalist, but hate chauvinism.

When I explain that as long as he abuses my mind, my body cannot perform. He says I am getting it somewhere else. I just cant stand it anymore and know that deep down inside, the man I met and married is still there. What is he hiding or why is he attacking us so?

I don't believe he is having an affair as he is always home and he cooks and is home all weekend. There is no time to have an affair. I think I have fallen out of love with him but then why haven't I left yet. I do know that financially I couldn't make it on my own and it is a fear of mine to go back to my previous life where we battled and I got into financial debt. I cant subject my kids to this anymore and I also need love but am frightened to go it on my own again since I cannot afford high rent. I actually don't know what I want.

I hate intercourse, not that I ever really loved it but it was okay when I still loved him because it was emotional for me. It has become mundane and a duty more than anything else. What is up with him. He will not go to therapy, I have tried to get him there. His words were: I know I am a screw up, I don't need a therapist to tell me that to my face. Please help as I don't want to go back to my old life.