I’m blessed with an elephantine skin. Wait, ew, that doesn’t sound like a blessing, that sounds like a horrible disease. I’m blessed with a thick skin.
Metaphorically, of course, seeing that my actual skin is very thin and almost poreless and although this sounds good in theory it is just a matter of time before it will turn to crêpe paper but that’s not really the point now.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that my feelings don’t get hurt often. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up fighting daily with my sister (she made Damian from The Omen look like one of the Waltons) or whether I’m just not very perturbed by insults or whether I’m a just a master of denial. I suspect it’s probably a combination of all three.
And when I do get hurt or angry it usually lasts for about 3 minutes before it evaporates and falls into the “bygones” category.
At least, this is what mostly happens.
Once, I was angry at an ex-boyfriend for FOUR YEARS because he lied about frequenting strip clubs behind my back. Note, ex-boyfriend – I only found out after we had broken up and even so, I was still furious for years. It sucked.
To experience feelings of anger and hurt against your will is a bit like being violated by your own emotions. Sometimes we can’t help it of course. Sometimes you’re stuck in the stinky swamp of negative emotions and the only way to get out is to go through.
But wade through, I say!
I don’t understand why anyone would purposefully hold on to old hurts and slights, and sit in that stinky swamp letting everything fester. It’s self-defeating and a violation of one’s inner sanctity.
Was it Buddha who said that holding on to anger or resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die?
Because it’s true. There is nothing noble or helpful about resentment or revenge. Especially if you’re harbouring these thoughts against loved ones.
Like Obi-Wan and Yoda taught us: Hurt and anger come from the Dark Side of the Force. Process it, and let it go. Otherwise it will poison you from the inside.
Or am I wrong? Are there certain slights we should not forgive? What about rape? Or apartheid, or childhood abuse, or a partner that keeps on cheating? Do those perpetrators deserve forgiveness, or is forgiveness something that you do purely for yourself?
Let us know what you think.
Love and the Light Side of the Force