Every year, I get all annoyed by the commercialism of Christmas. (Which is a bit rich, given that I am not even Christian.)
"Bah humbug," I'll say, while resentfully steering my shopping trolley past early November displays, festooned with tinsel and signs that say little more than "1000 Things to Buy before Xmas!", groaning with tacky, practically disposable toys and insanely priced cookies.
"Are you KIDDING?" I'll snap at my mother as she tentatively tries to discuss our festive menus with me. "It's November, for chrissakes!" (Then I'll have a little blasphemy cringe; I may not be Christian, but it's hard to take the cringe out of the convent schoolgirl.)
"Are you ^%{]#}^%# KIDDING ME? I'll sneer at Cath Shone, Food24's Restaurant Editor, as she starts on her festive tradition of blaring 9 am Boney M through our corner of the office.
And so November continues, while I sneer my way through office Xmas parties and festive restaurant specials and then... WHAM. It's 1 December and it's like someone flipped on the Christmas lights in my brain.
"It's CHRISTMAS!" I shrieked down the phone at my mother this morning. "Quick... Gammon or roast pork? What should I buy Dad? Has anyone figured out how to make egg nog yet? Are we going to..."
"Sam!" said the Mommy Voice of my youth. "It's 6.30 am. Stop talking and hang up the phone when you here the signal. "
<click>
I don't care if it's the Military-Industrial Shoplex or my tendency to massive mood swings, but something flipped my switch, baby. Christmas? Game on.
Joining me? Or not?
(Because Lili knew this was going to happen, she ignored my meeting bah humbugs and compiled this incredible festival season ideas page for us. She's smart as paint, our Lil.)
P.S. What? What do you mean... it's not 1 December yet? Cath! Turn off that ruddy Boney M RIGHT THIS MINUTE!