Selfish for not wanting kids

Our reader doesn't understand why she is being judged for not wanting to have any children. Is it really a must?

I feel birth control is a personal choice everyone should make for themselves.  What I have found astounding is the level of rudeness a married woman attracts when she chooses to continue using contraception long after saying “I do”. 

The stares/rude comments/prying questions and utter disbelief that I choose to use the contraceptive injection is unbelievable!    

The fact that it is my choice to remain child-free is something that the majority of people cannot and will not accept.

I may as well be from another universe judging by the attitude I receive for being so different.  You can achieve anything you like but until you have had a baby, society feels you haven’t ticked all their essential boxes - and are therefore incomplete.

I am not forcing my decision on anyone. 

I have never boasted about anything that my choice affords me.  Yet I get ‘the speech’ from everyone who has ever had or is planning a family.  You must know the speech? 

The one where you are basically told that your selfish lifestyle will never bring happiness, fulfilment or  the knowledge of unconditional love. 

Where you are made to feel guilty for your shoe collection or for going on a holiday which you planned spur of the moment. 

I have even gotten the comments from single friends.  They want to get married and have a family so they feel they too can jump on the superior wagon of selfless parents.  I have had numerous questions like “what does your husband say about this?” 

Do people not think that we discussed this plan before we got married?  Oh of course not - I am the selfish woman who has no feelings.  People assume this self-centred attitude spreads to all areas of my life but it doesn’t.   

And no, I don’t dislike kids - I just don’t want my own.  Why do other people – especially women find this so difficult to accept? 

Why does society make women who choose not to reproduce feel like failures?  Like we are stingy because we are happy to spend our time with our partners, family and friends. 

As if we are less of a woman for not making a family. 

 I don’t regret using birth control so why do I get so much attitude from those who choose not to use it?

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Given that so many women can't bear children, do you think that it okay to be able to but choose to never have kids?

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