My rock, my fortress
I cannot describe my father in a word, sentence, paragraph... It may take a book.
But he has been my rock, advisor, mentor and friend my whole life.
As a teenager, he knew what it was like to be the eldest child, to be the one to have all the restrictions placed on you. He was a calm go-between between my mother and I during those turbulent teenage years, where I often hated her rules (although as a parent I know understand them).
He would help chat to my mom and get her to allow me to go to that party that I would die if I didn’t make, allow me that extra hour past my curfew…
Walking me down the isle when I married, he told me noticing my tears that it was not too late to change my mind.
When my marriage crumbled and I was left with two small children and a broken heart, he was the electrician, other father to my children, doing his bit with doctors appointments, sports days and parents days at school.
He helped me find my first alone house, helped me move, helped me finance. He showed adequate hate for my ex when I needed to hear it, tolerance to him when I needed to have it and never ending love and support to my boys and I.
He joked and told me that he was happy to have me home, but to not come back with 'interest' next time.
When I re-married, knowing that this was the right thing, he walked me down the isle again and didn't ask if I wanted to change my mind.
I still consult my dad with most things financial and things to do with the boys whom I consider his other sons.
My boys consider me the boss and granddad the 'big boss'.
It is never to say he has no faults, of course he does, but I guess that is the bond between parent and child – we know and recognise each others faults but love each other despite them.
More precious than we could imagine
My dad is more precious now than I could ever have imagined. We are similar and sometimes clash. We frustrate each other.
But more than anything, we love each other and he has always supported me, no matter what. We are both emotional and not scared to show it. My dad is a person of life, as a friend described him yesterday.
But right now my dad is lying in ICU, in an induced coma, with tubes through his nose and mouth to provide him with food and oxygen.
A week ago, on his way home from a meeting in Cape Town, and exactly two weeks before his 70th birthday, a drunk man decided to get home a bit quicker, overtook the cars in front of him and drove head on into my father.
His car, which he has had for more than 10 years and was planning to drive until the day he died, was written off. He has six broken ribs, lung contusions, bruises all over his body, and cuts and scratches.
Three days ago, because they could no longer control his pain with morphine, he was put into an induced coma. Two days ago his one lung collapsed, and although the situation improved a day later, he now has an infection in his lung. Today we sat with him, talking and holding his hands.
I love my father, now probably more than ever. I just hope I get a chance to tell him again.
The absent father
Father's day always makes my heart sink – especially when I look into my son’s eyes and am reminded of his father who unfortunately and sadly abandoned him when he was only three months old.
My own dad passed on when I was only 10 but I have to say that I have only the fondest memories of him.
I commend and applaud all those fathers who will move heaven and earth for their children and wish that all those with dotting fathers never forget what a blessing it is to have a strong, compassionate, caring and loving man in their corner always.
I take solace and great pleasure and pride in knowing that I am raising a boy who will grow up to be a responsible, caring, strong, beautiful and doting father to his children which is more than he ever had from his absent father.
I, sadly, never had to opportunity to know my dad as he passed away 6 months before I was born. This didn’t really affect me as a kid, as I kinda thought this made me tougher than the rest to show that I could survive with just 1 "brilliant" parent – my beautiful mom.
But as the years went by and I became an adult and saw my friends with their dads and the bonds between them, I missed this and longed for this bond that I would never have. It made me very sad at times to realize that I had missed out on something.
I might never have had that bond with my dad that my friends have with theirs, but still I feel a loss on missing out on this.
Did your father play a huge role in your life? Tell us about it in the comment box below.