‘He beat me’

While Reeva Steenkamp was being shot to death, a reader was trying to justify her partner slamming her head into a wall.

Dear Lilli, while Reeva was being shot to death, I was laying awake, wondering how a man I known intimately for ten years could justify slamming me into a wall.

Ordinary men, who vehemently proclaim that they are not abusers, can turn into one net sommer so. I've asked him to leave.

He's refused, and now I raise our child where she will learn that this is normal. You are right. It is too late for our daughters.

I can only pray that she doesn't make the same stupid choices that I did. 

*This is the reply our reader wrote after seeing the comments on her story.

The good news is, I stood up for myself.

The bad news is, most women don't have the resources to do this.

After the initial shock of the assault, I told my family. I spoke to his family. He's still in the house, but knows that if he so much as raises his voice, I will call the cops.

He has to leave, but without going the route of a protection order (which does not necessarily evict the perpetrator, and takes weeks to finalise via the family court) it will only be at month end.

I've done what I can under the circumstances, but it is my flat, and I will not leave and start again like a good little slave. 

Perhaps I was misunderstood when I said its too late for my daughter. The men who are her potential life partners, have already been born to these misogynist fathers. She will grow up knowing her father is dangerous, and has already seen him harm me.The damage is done.

We start self defence classes next week.

Damaged, but certainly not Done.
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