You know that person with absolutely no tact, who says the most outrageous things without blinking because he truly has no idea why you’d be offended?
That person is my brother-in-law.
“You don’t look half bad for a person who drinks as much as you do.” Or “Of course they’ll let you in… you just look like a transvestite with a hangover.”
Anyway, Women24 watched “Flight of the Conchords” the other day and nearly killed ourselves laughing when one of the two rather gormless lead characters walks up to a girl at a party and tells her she’s pretty enough to be a part time model. Now that’s inspired. And way better than “you don’t sweat much for a fat person.”
So we asked our friends for more of these gems and these are our favourites.
Verashni’s uncle told her: “You're dark - but pretty.”
At Gina’s engagement party her MIL said “Wow, you look sooo pretty today! You really should wear make-up more often!”
Tanya once bought a pair of earrings with little turquoise beads and when she popped them in and showed a friend of hers he said: “wow those are great - brings some colour to your otherwise dull face.”
Cath is sure “You’re so much more fun when you are drunk” is an insult. Also, what are you supposed to say when someone tells you “you are way hotter now than you were at school?” Gee thanks?
On that point – Monique can’t help thinking "You look great! Have you lost weight?" is always a bit of a slap in the face.
While Zayaan sent me this little gem:
Hubby: Who are you?
Zayaan: I am your wife.
Hubby: No you’re not. My wife doesn’t look so pretty.
So come on, your turn. I just know you have your own classic complinsults… Share, so we can all laugh…