Stopping smoking is a drag – but there are huge rewards.
Stopping smoking was the hardest thing I've ever done. But starting at 16 wasn't hard at all – smoking was my passport to über-sophistication.
Every year, I was felled by chest infections during the dry Johannesburg winter. I shudder to think what my weakened lungs must have looked like: tar-ridden, bleeding and ulcerated. Yet, still I smoked – it was a crutch, a coping mechanism.
So why did I give up? Seeing a man with emphysema wheezing for breath through a ventilator frightened me enough to get me thinking about it. I noticed wrinkles around my eyes, and deeply etched lines around my mouth that weren't just from laughing.
It's clichéd, but I woke up one day and said: I don't want to do this any more. That was – and still is – the key. I wanted to give up.
I wish I could say it was easy. It wasn't. My kick-start was chronic food poisoning, which forced me to stop for four days. Immediately after that I went on a bush getaway and discovered I'd forgotten my cigarettes. My friends challenged me to get through the long weekend without smoking. At the end of it, having driven everyone mad with non-stop eating, lethargy, tears and bad
temper, I'd got through the worst.
The next six months were a slow drag of hourly pep talks, tears and endless pacing. A fantastic website, www.quitnet.com, provided motivational messages and medical advice. This prepared me for the withdrawal symptoms, which continued for three months. Knowing how to handle them helped tremendously.
Although nicotine can be eliminated from your system in 24 hours, its underlying associations must be dealt with. I was a tactile smoker – I enjoyed holding cigarettes and unwrapping new boxes. I needed to replace my tactile habits with an alternative.
Super-size bags of lollipops and a string of worry beads gave me something to do with my hands. I also hired a personal trainer and started running. It became a huge reward. In my "smoking years", exercise made my lungs ache. Now, I can run without feeling the burn in my chest. I've given myself a strong, healthy body, and I'm constantly amazed at what it's capable of.
My biggest sense of fulfilment comes from knowing that this was a massive personal achievement. I'm proud of myself, and I now have a benchmark for any other goal I set.
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