I'm amazed Amanda Seyfried could sit in this gown. Where do you put the material? Do you tuck it between your knees? Layer it on the chair for extra butt cushioning? Pull it over the back of the chair so the crowd sees your undies? Or just accept that it'll take three chairs to get cosy? What happens when you need to pee? How did she do it? When Armani designed this gown, did they have a solution ready?
I'm sure someone out there has the answer. Like Cinderella.
See the 
It seems like Jennifer Lopez stole Amanda Seyfried's gown and made it red-carpet frothy. I'm still not crazy about it. It looks like her butt changed direction.
See the best of the red carpet.
Remember Diane Kruger at
the SAG Awards? The mustard-coloured, one-shoulder Jason Wu dress. Well, she couldn't have chosen an uglier "gown" to follow up with. I keep thinking, 'Maybe it's not that bad?' But, oh, it is. It really is. Let's see the back...
And I thought J-Lo was over the top… Vera Farmiga's fuchsia, strapless, Marchesa gown is the pinnacle of dramatic 'dos. This is something Ursula, the evil sea witch from
The Little Mermaid would have worn – and even then only after taking drugs.
See the best of the red carpet.
Charlize Theron looks impressed with herself. The rest of us aren't charmed by her boob-shaped bustier flowers. I'm sure Christian Dior is playing a joke on us. Well, it's an improvement from last year's WATCH OUT YOUR SHOULDER IS EATING YOU ALIVE gown. Somewhat.
See the best of the red carpet.
I'm really worried that Faith Hill saw the plastic bustier on this dress and thought, "That's the dress! That's what I'll wear to the Oscars! Never mind that the slits are ACTUALLY HIGHER THAN MY VAGINA. If Britney can do it, so can I. I'll make it work. I know I can." Sadly, Faith, this is a hopeless dress. Save it for Britney.
See the best of the red carpet.
God I love Jennifer Lewis! She's just so… fabulous, darlin'. I have a soft spot for sassy women, even when they disappear and pop up a decade later in a Tyler Perry flick in a feature role. But every time I see her, I just think, "Damn. When I grow up I want to be like that." She's played a psychic grandmother, been in Friends, sang in The Princess and the Frog… the woman is versatile. Her feather fringed shawl, however, is not. It very clearly belon
Mariah Carey takes centre stage while Nick Cannon slinks in the background as always. He's her constant outfit accessory, but it looks like she's happy with that arrangement. Okay, the dress… I'm spotting boobs and legs. If Mariah doesn't change
something (anything!) soon, I'm skipping the rest of her red carpet appearances.
See the best of the red carpet.
Nicole Richie's Reem Acra vintage-style gown makes me feel dizzy. Something about it really reminds me of Tina Fey's nauseating patterned gown at
the Golden Globes. There were so many things that were wrong with that dress. The neckline. The mid-calf length. The full skirt. The bustier. The whole damn thing, actually. I'm still in therapy because of that dress. After that terror, I'm just not strong enough to applaud Nicole's choice.
See the
