Hey Tom Cruise, lift MY hand

According to a Rolling Stone review in 2006 Tom Cruise has telekinetic and telepathic powers. Which makes me wonder… Why isn’t he using them?

“According to a 2006 investigation by Rolling Stone magazine, 50-year-old Tom had reached an advanced level of Scientology and was known as an "Operating Thetan" or an "OT".

Janet Reitman, the author of the report, explained that OTs "have total control over themselves and their environment".”

Er, total control over themselves and their environment? Couch jumping, robotic Tom Cruise? Okay then. I guess some people would think it’s ideal to go through a public divorce when you have a small child.
And telekinesis? Like I said, okay Carrie, raise my hand then.

But unlike the rest of the world, I’m not going to take a stab at Scientology for four reasons:

•    It’s too easy.

•    All religions sound like fairytales – if a dude can live in a big fish and a goddess with a bunch of arms can suck the blood from a demon then surely Xenu could have visited Earth 75 million years ago?

•    I live close to a Dianetics church and I don’t want them to egg my house.

•    I like science fiction.

In other news, Katie has gone back to the Catholic Church. So now she can go back to believing in Immaculate Conceptions and people rising from the dead which is Not. Weird. At. All.

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isiBaya 31 March - 11 April

2014-04-04 10:22

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