Hooray for the beta male!

2010-02-22 12:15
Lili Radoff

 1) Intelligence is sexy

With all the talk about the brain being the biggest sexual organ, it's no surprise that we're turned on by clever people. There's something undeniably attractive about a man who can build a bridge or a combustion engine or a spaceship. Where would we be without the geeks who invented electricity... Microsoft... Google...? Men who build instead of break. Men who find solutions instead of causing problems?

Probably, still being clubbed over the head and dragged around by our hair, that's where.
So big up to the guys out there who are passionate about our investments, our computer programs and our genetic composition.

We love you.

2) Nerds are funny

We all know a sense of humour is attractive. In fact, if magazine and Internet articles everywhere are to be believed, women rate this quality higher than any other. And nerds are funny. Maybe because intelligent people are funny?

Or maybe it's because they've thought about life, love and everything when the other boys were still busy blowing spit bubbles and figuring out how to walk without dragging their knuckles on the floor? Or is it because they've memorized every single episode of The Simpsons? Which would be funny ha-ha and funny peculiar. Ha ha ha, funny peculiar.

3) Shyness is sexy

There's something hugely appealing about shy men. The stammering, blushing, babbling, bumbling sexiness of a slightly awkward man beats the practised charm and ladykiller lameness of your run of the mill playboy hands down, every time. These are the guys with the self-deprecating wit, the air of uncertainty, the boyish charm. Take me now, James McAvoy...

4) Nerds are gentlemen

This is the type of guy who won't think courtship begins with a couple of beers and ends on the backseat of his BMW. It's also the type of guy who won't insult your mother or sleep with your friends.

5) Here's to you Mrs. Robinson

When you're with a man who is sexually inexperienced you automatically graduate into a sophisticated sex-pot. And seriously, who doesn't want to be a sophisticated sex-pot?


a)He won't be able to compare you with other women (which can be good or bad depending on where you stand)
b)He'll be eternally grateful to you for making him a man
c)He will worship your body (see point a)

6) Nerds aren't skanky

Rest assured your geek is good and clean and fresh, tra-la-la. Because if nerds slept around we wouldn't call them nerds now would we? Which just goes to show how absurd our culture is.

7) Over achievement rocks

Seeing that nerds are generally good at stuff (well, except for contact sports, beer guzzling and other chest banging activities – which is a point in itself really) when they do get the chance to have sex, they will eventually excel at it.
Think about it: if a man has the patience to figure out how to assemble a tiny model airplane, or learn how to write in binary code, the workings of the standard vagina shouldn't prove to be too much of a problem.

8) Nerds are kind

Although this man might occasionally suffer from foot in mouth disease (remember your nerd is not a practiced charm monger) he will usually be sensitive and compassionate. Once again qualities which made him a nerd in the first place.

So the next time you roll your eyes at IT Guy's Star Trek reference, stop. Look a little closer. There might just be a great catch hiding behind those glasses.



  • Ess - 2010-02-16 19:57

    Love nerds... have always had a thing for the shy, smart guy. Agree with all the above, and I'd like to add that nerds are great conversation when you get past the awkwardness. Wit and awkward charm is what I feel for in my nerdy husband.

  • N3rD - 2010-02-17 09:37

    Ahem. Just a little correction, if I may. Some of us nerds take really good care of our health (we have to, due to the nature of our jobs), despite what popular belief might dictate. Our social skills are also not as bad as one might think. Developing software, for instance, requires the ability to manage a wide variety of stakeholders, often under very difficult circumstances. One negative though... we are usually swamped with work and when we do get the opportunity to go out, we tend to have trouble relaxing and "leaving our work at home". That's why all the you will have to cope with inordinate amounts of shop talk.

  • 2020 - 2010-02-17 10:21

    I would disagree. I'm a nerd and have no illusions that the women only love the money and the car, not me.

  • Programmer - 2010-02-17 11:04

    Nerd is the new alpha male! We treat women with respect and we are not as socially awkward as we used to be. My girlfriend is super hot and cute and loves the fact that I am intelligent, well read and funny. Her ex is the opposite of me in all ways and according to her she is living the romantic comedy she always wanted.

    Nerds rule the world!

  • Joy-Mari - 2010-02-17 11:29

    Pfft. Gimme a good mix of an 'alpha' and a 'beta' rather than a 1-dimensional stereotype.

  • @ 2020 - 2010-02-17 11:30

    maybe you're chasing the wrong type of woman. get out of that self-destructive pattern and find Ms Good-For-You who loves you for who you are. Treat her well and she'll pay you back tenfold.

  • @Joy-Mari - 2010-02-17 11:43

    Isn't that what the article is about?

  • suzieQ - 2010-02-17 11:51

    totally agree :D

  • dmanden - 2010-02-17 11:52

    the nerds i knew at school are now the biggest coke sniffing whore pomping guys out there

  • CTheB - 2010-02-17 12:34

    Apparently all the women who love nerds are hiding somewhere or are all taken...

  • @Joy-Mari - 2010-02-17 12:35

    Aaah, that's what you say now, but you would still rather go for the alpha if given a choice. I am a good blend between alpha and beta, yet I always loose out to the pure alphas. Had a few lady friends, ticked all the boxes, then alpha male comes along checking only 2 things - he is hot and more experienced. One day more women will learn that you shouldn't wait too long before getting the nice guy, because then they will all be gone! This Capricorn beta/alpha will only get better with age. And the lucky lady will be very lucky!

  • LordWabbit - 2010-02-17 13:02

    Problem is most nerds find 'Hot Chicks' shallow and vapid. They can't speak Klingon, format their own PC, or get a kill streak in Quake. They've never even heard of Final Fantasy and probably still use Internet Explorer instead of a decent browser. Even if a relationship did start, it is probably not going to last. What every nerd is looking for is a hot female nerd, and they are hard to come by.

  • thehobbit - 2010-02-17 13:32

    I do not fully agree with the article. I’m a software developer but far from a nerd as it would be depicted in movies like "Revenge of the nerd", although I do enjoy star wars and playing computer games etc. I understand nerd language and can mostly relate to ladies.

    My feeling is that there’s 2 breeds. Nerds and Geeks. I consider myself a geek, since I’m fond of computers and coding, but still like sports too. In my mind, a nerd would be someone out of “revenge of the nerds”. Not really sure if that’s the way I would go...

    I regularly play sport, mountain biking and touch rugby, but I do not consider myself a nerd or an alpha male, probably why I’m single...

  • Shy Girl Nerd Lover - 2010-02-17 13:32

    I wish you hadn't mentioned James McAvoy, now I can't concentrate..

  • Sean - 2010-02-17 13:40

    Rubbish... Women are only interested in:
    Women WANT the above, they SETTLE for nice guys.

  • @LordWabbit, author - 2010-02-17 14:01

    I actually had two 'hot chicks' in my elec and comp eng undergrad, one of whom did an MSc as well (and I'm talking a-grade hot here). Admittedly they were also the only two girls in my class in the end.
    Moving women to Firefox isn't hard, just put in some nice add-ons and delete the desktop link to internet exploder. PS try med school girls, they're hot, and talk shop in a nerdy way much more...
    Why, kind author, do we have to thank the worst of the nerds for windows, when we can thank the best of them for linux?

  • Erich - 2010-02-17 14:27

    I have to strongly disagree, yet again I hear this statement and I can tell you from personal experience that it is simply not true! I am a bit of a nerd, but all and all an all-rounder and girls like me, just not enough to actually commit to a relationship, I have been a nice guy all my life and I can categorically state that nice guys finish last, some airhead guy with great abs and no respect for woman will undoubtedly come along and prove more interesting or more dangerous than the sweet, funny, witty and caring "goodguy nerd". I would have given up a long time ago with the goodguy thing but I'm not too good at being an asshole, so I'm sticking to what I know and that there is indeed a nice girl out there who can appreciate me!

  • Zane - 2010-02-17 14:47

    I beg to differ.... I have experienced that these so called nerds which spend so much time on the net are actually huge porn freeks because they ever get th real thing.... they are socially inept, you ladies so have the story upside down... good luck to you!!!

  • Morpheus - 2010-02-17 14:57

    I agree with "thehobbit"!
    I develop software (well not in binary but in PC Assembler and C - extremely nerdy languages) + I am a computer network engineer. Thus according to this article a true nerd.
    But I used to play rugby when I was younger - played lock & later prop. Not a position you will find a nerd in. In gym, I did the serious weights!! One of the reasons I got my latest job was, as the interviewer called it, "I have a physically presence"! Not an attribute you would associate with a nerd!
    So not all nerds are tiny fragile men. Some of us (geeks) looks like an alpha male but at hart are a the same a nerd. I mean a beautiful woman impair my verbal capabilities and I become jelly ... and BLUSH!!

  • BladeRunner - 2010-02-17 15:01

    A pro-nerd article written by a nerd - wow! But keep convincing yourselves, cant do any harm. Nerds!

  • Frankie - 2010-02-17 15:07

    @Blladerunner Ha, have you ever met Lili Radloff? She is on a first name basis with every bassist and bouncer in the greater Cape Town area. She couldn't be cooler if cut her up and froze her into little ice trays. You might want to work out why this article is threatening you? You aren't (gasp) a would-be jock who hasn't seen any action for a while, are you? Because, that would be too horribly obvious.

  • FsB - 2010-02-17 15:23

    @LordWabbit. I am the girl you are speaking of. But taken. By a slightly nerdy dude I may add. Shall I introduce you to my friends?

    Oh and btw - I know FF, I can format my own PC (and much more, being an IT specific nerd), I spent New Year's Eve battling friends on various consoles and I have a decent browser... :)

    Nerds are awesome! The meek shall inherit the earth (and then redesign it so it works better)

  • Evyl - 2010-02-17 15:23

    Agree with TheHobbit, there is a difference between geeks and nerds :)

    I'd classify my husband as a geek - he fits most of the above-mentioned characteristics, is great at his career, an awesome chef, socially adept enough and definitely an overachiever in the bedroom ;)

    Intelligent, philosophical and compassionate men are so much hotter than dung-flinging simians.

  • Hot Female Nerd - 2010-02-17 15:30

    To the nerds who think all women only want looks, power and money... you're wrong. I would take an intelligent, well-read nerd over any of those things. Nerds rule my world! Who needs the loud-mouthed school jog still trapped in evolution?! I say bring the binary code to the bedroom!;)

  • preshen govender - 2010-02-17 16:37

    what is the difference between Bill gates Penis and his check book ?Chicks will blow his check book

  • Chuck - 2010-02-18 00:30

    So where are all these awesome nerd-loving women hiding!? May I suggest some advertising? ... http://www.tshirthell.com/funny-shirts/talk-nerdy-to-me/ ;)

  • preshen govender - 2010-02-18 07:07

    what did Bill Gates wife tell him after they had sex? Is this why you named your company Microsoft.

  • Liz - 2010-02-18 09:14

    I found a nice guy, who knows his way around me, and my Mac! Nerds are infinitely better than jocks. Have fun with a jock when you are young, but marry a good, decent nerd when all is said and done.

  • dreamy - 2010-02-18 10:22

    Women are attracted to men who have the following qualities: confidence, masculinity, character and the ability to inspire confidence in a woman. When a beta male has these characteristics, he will be attractive to women. But if he lacks these qualities, then his lack of confidence in himself as a man will translate itself to the woman he is trying to attract and she will automatically not be attracted to him. The only reason that women are attracted to Alpa males is that they possess confidence and masculinity in spades... and this is what essentially ATTRACTS a women, and thy then turn a blind eye to his negative qualities, at least for a while. In the long run a man who lacks sensitivity and kindness won't make a woman happy, but attraction sparks a relationship, and that's why women will often end up with these men. If a Beta male, with all his positive qualities, combined them with the ability to be confident and masculine, he would have women falling at his feet :-)

  • bronny - 2010-02-18 16:37

    I have the bestest funniest, cleverest, sexiest, nerd boyfriend ever! he can fix anything, washes dishes and is generally WAAAAAY better than any jock. go nerds!

  • Bella - 2010-02-19 14:34

    I'm not into the alpha males. Like to look at them though, but I just looooooove nerds.

  • Curious - 2010-02-21 12:06

    ...Given the intelligence of these so called geeks / nerds / beta-males, they could make for difficult partners if the lady in question is not on the same page. Granted, intelligence is sexy, but if you cant stimulate one another in the head, then what?

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