Sometimes what he says is exactly what he means – like when he is hungry (which is most of the time). Other times it has a deeper meaning or ‘alternative’ intent as I like to call it.
You see, I am in no way assuming that all men are the same, but and here’s a big but, you have to admit that they have loads of things in common. Leaving the toilet seat up, not understanding why you are cranky during your period or why you start crying every time you watch Leonardo DiCaprio die in Titanic.
Anyway, amongst my many male friends I picked up on a language frequency that not even they are aware of. So I feel it’s my duty as friend to enlighten them as their man lingo gets them into hot water more often than not.
Yes lad, a perfectly ordinary woman goes from normal to hissy fit in 0.2 seconds for what seems to be no reason. You said something wrong. Either that or you’re dating a schizophrenic, and if that’s the case, get out NOW!
I have taken it upon myself to infiltrate the secret society of ‘mixed-signals’ and miscommunications to gather up some clues for us girls to follow. After all, understanding your man makes for better communication, stronger bonding and fewer arguments.
I will admit, sometimes speaking to your man might give you the urge to attack him with something more than just sarcasm.
So, in the spirit of assisting my fellow womankind, and in the effort of trying to elevate unnecessary disagreements, I have a list of a few potential phrases that might mean well but ends up being said badly.
‘Are you going to eat all of that?’
I know it’s hard to believe that he is not making a snide comment referring to your weight, but, what he actually means is that he is hungry and would like to share your food.
Tip: Use your imagination and take the opportunity to get romantic by feeding him bits of your food.
‘It was a joke’
Chances are that it probably wasn’t a joke. If you suspect that there might be a deeper meaning to what he said last night about needing space, he probably feels suffocated.
The men I know use the term ‘it was a joke’ when what they have just said obviously upset their girlfriends. Quickly they would change the subject adding on a giggle for effect. If your boyfriend has done this, he probably wants to discuss something important with you but does not know how to go about it.
Tip: Don’t get angry or alienate him further, rather let him come to you. If he is ready and feels comfortable enough, he will speak to you about what is bothering him.
‘Whatever you say, I just want you to be happy’
If your partner unleashes this one during an argument, you can bet your sexy butt that he does not have a clue as to why you are angry. He will agree with you just so that you can drop the subject and move on to discussing something else.
Tip: Let it slide; allow him to change the subject. Let him deliberate about what you have argued about and come to his own conclusion then calmly discuss it like responsible adults.
‘What tone of voice?’
This must be the most frustrating thing that I have ever come across. Getting him to admit that he has a certain condescending tone of voice is like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. And, of course the tone of voice is accompanied with an ‘Ok, fine’. This in man lingo means that he is frustrated with you for not understanding his point of view and will not discuss it further until you have ‘come to your senses’.
Tip: Don’t force the issue. If you do, it will only create an environment in which hurtful words will be uttered. Rather take a step back and let him come to you.
'Your timing isn’t right'
This line must be the sorest line I have heard. It’s quite simple girls, what he means is that he is just not into you. If a guy is interested in you, he will move mountains to make you part of his life. It doesn’t mean that he is not ‘ready’ for a relationship yet or that he is ‘trying to find himself,’ come on, you are smarter than that. Don’t let him string you along.
Tip: If you have been served with this line, move on and find someone else because chances are that he already has.
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If you have any more man lingo you would like to share, tell us in the box below.