Slut shaming

Gender equality should not be reduced to tit-for-tat rules, especially when it comes to sleeping around, writes Betty's Beef.

The other day I was scrolling through Facebook when I found an article about a seemingly new trend called slut shaming.

According to the article, slut shaming refers to women bashing each other for satisfying their sexual needs, having sex with multiple people and generally acknowledging their sexuality.

This trend is nothing new according to me. Women have always judged each other when it comes to female sexuality. There was however one sentence in the article that did make my blood boil: It is more acceptable for men to sleep around than women.

I have a deep hatred for all double standards that are based on gender. In this day and age, gender equality should be the status quo instead of something that still cripples our society. That being said, women cannot obliterate the myth that men are allowed to sleep around as much as they like by doing so themselves.

Before the matter is discussed further, it is necessary to state that I do not make the assumption that all men have numerous sexual partners or that women are generally celibate. Sexuality is very much a part of who we are and we should be free to explore it.

I take issue with the fact that people these days seem to be advocating meaningless sex. The reason why I personally judge guys who sleep around is not because society forbids me from doing the same, but because it reduces sex to an act that has no more worth than a quick fix. Not to mention the increased risk of contracting a STD or, even worse, impregnating a girl whose name you can’t even remember.

Sure, every now and then we all crave sex simply for the sake of having an orgasm, but I like to believe that the intrinsic value of sex lies in more than that. To me, it’s about intimacy. It’s about sharing a part of yourself with another person – a part that not everyone in your local bar has had the pleasure to behold.

The real issue then does not seem to be that women can’t sleep around as much as men. Why would we want to? Gender equality is not about being able to behave the way men do. It is about being held accountable to the same set of values.

The real issue is that sex, something that should be special and meaningful, has now become a weapon with which a gender war is being fought. And in this war there are no winners.

The main difference between humans and animals is our ability to reason with ourselves and others. It is this ability that allows us to control, not suppress, our natural instincts. Men who sleep around are referred to as ‘animals’ because they seem to lack this ability to control what’s going on inside their pants.

In the ideal world, we wouldn’t be fighting for society’s approval to sleep around. We would be fighting for sexual liberation without having to resort to behaving like animals.


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