Walking around town with S* the other day he noted how wonderful summer is. But not for the obvious reasons.
Not because of bright blue skies or boozy lunches at seaside cafés. Not because days are longer and people generally happier. Nope. The reason S* likes summer so much, he informed me, is because girls wear less.
'There's just more,' he explained. 'More legs, more boobs, more arms, more necks...'
Straight men are such a delight in their simplicity sometimes. Not that I can fault his logic. Summer is just sexier. Tanned skin, strappy dresses and sandals are a whole lot more delectable to the senses than pasty skin, overcoats and uggs.
There's a hum and buzz about bodies in these hot sultry days and nights that brings out the exotic in even the most drab of people.
Add to our gorgeous southern hemisphere summers the sense of inhibition that accompanies holiday season joie de vivre – complete with office parties, Christmas and New Year's Eve revels and holiday romances – and you have a recipe for a whole lot of sexy-making.
And, seriously, what's not to like about that?
Which brings me to another point of all this summer lovin' – where and how it all happens.
Along with ditching our scarves and boots we're also more likely to toss out the conventional scenarios for our sexual escapades.
Out with bedrooms, beds, sheets and duvets and in with cars, pools, porches, tents, tables, beaches, restrooms, gardens and mountain ledges.
There's no time of the year that is more appropriate for a bit of spontaneous kink. But in order for kink to work well, you need to be prepared.
No matter how much you believe you're going to keep it PG13 this holiday, chances are you'll be thinking differently after your sixth mojito and a round of outrageous flirting with Mr Man at the bar.
Experience has taught me that there are a few essentials that you should always have in your bag or car.
1. Condoms. This is non-negotiable. Carry at least three, high-quality condoms in your purse when you go out. If you don't know how to put a condom on a boy – learn. If he doesn't want to wear one, ditch his arse. Don't be an idiot. Learn the following phrases until you're able to ramble it off in your sleep:
English: 'No worries, I've got a condom!'
Xhosa: 'Ako nxanke-ikhona icondom!'
Zulu: 'Ungakhathazeki nginalo ikkohndomu!'
Afrikaans: 'Geen problem, ek het 'n kondoom!’
German: 'Keine sorge, ich habe ein kondom!’
2. Wetwipes, perfume, lip gloss, floss.
3. A cab number for when you're out on the town.
4. Keep a number of sarongs in your car. You won't believe how handy those little pieces of material can be for a little bit of nookie if you're out in the wild, on the beach or enjoying a 'spontaneous picnic'.
5. A mate's number on speed dial. Handy for tricky situations, advice and extreme excitement of the 'omg-it-was-so-amazing-let-me-tell-you-everything' type.
So go forth and be kinky beautiful people. Summer's made for it. As for me, I plan to keep things pretty mellow this year... but then again, there is this one utterly delicious barboy I'd like to get to know...
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Do you agree with Dorothy Black? Share your summer lovin' experiences with us in the comment box below.