First impressions:
Honestly, when I first saw the Swan Clutch I was a bit, ja, ok, another Ben Wa ball type goody to slot into the whole 50 Shades ra-ra. Whatevs. All Swan products are beautifully designed and crafted, so I wasn’t too taken by that.

But then I was told the kicker...

What it is:
Think of the Swan Clutch as bullet vibe in a vaginal ball format with sense technology. What that means is the shape and the attached pull-out string are typical features of your new Ben Wa balls. So you can use it as a straight kegel exerciser. But it’s also a vibrator in the straightforward bullet sense of the word – small and generally just an on-and-off, one-setting vibe.

But then, and here’s the selling point, it has a separate vibe setting that they call ‘Squeeze-Me’ technology, where ‘your grasp can be in charge of your bodily pleasure’ ... in other words, the pressure you place on the motor will vary the vibe.

What’s supposed to happen?
You might be sold on the idea that you adjust the setting to the sensor mode, slip it into your vagina like you would a normal vaginal ball and then squeeze until you feel a vibration – the more you squeeze, in other words, the more pressure you place on the motor, the wilder it vibrates. The idea being that while you exercise your vag muscles, you get some lovely, sexy stim inside you.



Here’s the problem with that...
While the sensor tech works very well if you’re putting direct pressure on the motors if you grip it with your fist or your fingers, once you pop it into a circular tube of muscle that is created to envelop shapes, not apply hard, direct pressure to them, it doesn’t work. For a week I really thought there was something wrong with the motors of the vibe or the muscles of my vagina. I’d get this pained look on my face at a bar and whoever was with me would be, like, ‘Still nothing huh?’.

Then a girlfriend suggested I place it on a scale to measure how more force was needed to make the ‘sensor’ mode work ... well, I’m not so great with scientifically geared research, but when I pushed it down with two fingers the motor only started buzzing after the 1.2 kg mark. I don’t know what the means, but while I love my vagina, I don’t think it can squeeze juice out of a stone. Interestingly enough, Swan’s site doesn’t explicitly say this is what it meant to do. (Squeezing out a vibe with your vaginal muscles, not juice from a stone.)

Why that doesn’t matter...
I don’t much care for a vibration inside my vagina. Where I like that kind of stim is on my clit, and the Clutch does incredibly well as a normal vibe in that regard. It’s powered by PowerBullet with a motor at its head that transfers vibrations very well throughout the body. I liked that it was flexible enough to push the one ball inside me while rubbing the other egg-shaped ball against my clit and knowing it was safe to do this because of the string (you wouldn’t be able to push a normal bullet vibe inside you without worry how you were going to get it out).

While I like the sense mode, which responds incredibly well to finger pressure – which is how you’d be using it during play – you have to apply quite a bit of pressure, which I found distracting. But have your partner create a softer/harder pulse mode while they use it on you and it could get very yummy. As a vaginal ball it is incredibly comfortable and I slipped it in easily without lube (though lube is always preferable).

It has to be said that while there is still a lot of work to be done on sense tech in sex toys (remember what a fail the Lelo was?), Swan gets it very nearly right. So play with the sensor mode with your partner, but think of it primarily as a 2-in-1 for you.

Why it’s awesome?
So, the way to think of the Swan Clutch really is as a 2-in-1 toy – a kegel exerciser and a vibe. It might seem pricey, but looked at that angle, it suddenly becomes the one all-round, must-have sexual health toy in your box. The fact that it’s made from 100% seamless silicone and has a rechargeable lithium-ion battery makes it even more awesome and durable. You know I love rechargeable toys that have a handy little light that shines when they’re charging (and on) and pretty, quality packaging and the Swan scores on both. It even comes with country adjustable plug fittings. I’m not crazy about the plastic it’s all kept in, but that really is the smallest of nigglies.

Should you run out at buy it?
See above. But if you have neither a vaginal ball nor a vibe and have been considering both, this would be the honey to get. Love.

UPDATE:
I receive an email from Chantal Edouard-Betsy of The Bedroom about this review.

She says: 'I think you may have reviewed a faulty one. Our initial demo we opened was same regarding having to exert A LOT of pressure to get it vibrating, and I also commented that no ways you'd ever get that vibrating inside. A couple of days later this particular one gave up the ghost, we sent it back to the supplier and opened a new demo which was completely different, and only needs gentle pressure to get it vibrating.

If that's the case, this makes it one of the most awesome toys on the market today. Will get another one and see for myself.

 
All toys supplied by Whet Sensuality Emporium.

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