I am a very sexually "healthy" female in that I like to have sex regularly and I like to spice thigs up in the bedroom. My boyfriend, however, doesn't share the same sentiments and I basically have to beg for sex!
He says that he doesn't want to talk about it all the time (he's over-exaggerating, of course) and he doesn't feel the need to do it all the time, and he never initiates it – I always have to.
The thing is, there are 2 other friends of mine who are having the same problem, and we always thought that it was a problem with the ladies not wanting to indulge in sex often!
I've asked my boyfriend if I don't turn him on or if he doesn't think I'm sexy and he says that it's nothing like that at all. The thing is that we haven't had sex for like 2 months now and there are always big gaps between when we have sex. I don't think it's healthy and I'm gagging for it!
Are the roles reversing these days where women are more eager than men?? What's wrong with these boys?
The tables have indeed turned! We just never allowed men to have headaches before – now they demand their headache!
Seriously, it is incredibly disturbing to be with a man who has no/low desire or low interest in you sexually and shows no eroticism in the relationship. It brings a woman to her knees – humiliating, depressing and confused.
First, you want to check that he is medically sound – low sexual desire is one of the signs of a medical illness. If he is under 45 and there are no indicators he doesn't need hormone tests done then he may need a lifestyle change – maybe less alcohol, more exercise, better food and lower stress etc.
However, if it turns out that he is a healthy man then it's your call. Many men just have a low desire for sex, or little interest. And sadly this does not change over time – it gets worse as now he is stuck in a corner emotionally where he knows you are disappointed, pissed at him, and even if he wants sex, he knows that it's awkward and tense so he'll avoid it even more.
I recommend that you and your partner visit a couple and sex therapist together.
- Dr. Eve
Can you relate to what Nats is experiencing with her boyfriend? What advice can you give her? Share your thoughts in the box below.