‘Help! I can’t orgasm’

A reader wants to know if she should be worried that she has never climaxed during sex.

Question

I'm 21 and have a partner for the last 3 months. We have a great sex life trying out different positions; however, I can't seem to orgasm.

Actually, I have never orgasmed with previous lovers.

Is this something to be worried about?

My boyfriend seems to think he's not doing his job. What can I do? I do explore and play around with myself but somehow I just can’t reach it. Help!
-Reader

Answer

At 21 you are very young to be worrying about orgasms.

Orgasms for women are an art to be developed as they are difficult to achieve especially with a partner. Different positions are unlikely to bring you orgasms - unless they include clitoral stimulation.

Do you know where your clitoris is? You say you have played around - good for you- but you need to do more than ‘kind of’ play around.

You need to give yourself frequent time alone, in a sexy, fantasy filled head, and relax into the sensations your body offers, especially your genitals.

Compliment your boyfriend through teaching him what your body needs - and it may include a lot of body touch, clitoral stimulation, talking, time, and you to relax and let yourself go by focusing intensely and only on your genitals.

Stop worrying, both of you, and be playful.
-Dr Eve

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