Anal sex has only recently become a talked about topic in the main stream media. A lot of people still associate it with being dirty, perverted or gay, and while they'll happily discuss the ins and outs of their "normal" sex lives I haven't been to many dinner parties where people were comfortable discussing backdoor loving.
But, although anal play is not everyone’s cup of tea – there’s no denying that it’s for far more people than you think.
Here’s a little bit of rock trivia for you: a friend recently drew my attention to a Jim Morrison song, originally written for Howlin’ Wolf by Willie Dixon, called Back Door Man. I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether our favourite leather-wearing Jim was singing about anal sex or not.
“I'm a back door man
The men don't know
But the little girls understand”
As I said, you decide. And don’t say I only ever teach you about sex.
Getting down and not so dirty
Lubrication. (I feel tempted to say if you didn’t know that already, you really shouldn’t try it.) Our sex expert, Marina Green, owner of the Whet Sensuality Emporium reckons you should use lots more lubrication than you think, and then double it. Say after me kids: anal tearing is not fun! And remember, use a man-made, waterbased lubrication. Spit just doesn't cut it and vaseline ruins condoms. Which brings me to the second rule:
Always use protection. STDs are most easily transmitted through anal sex so don’t be a patsy.
You can go from vaginal sex to anal sex but never the other way around. Your vagina is a delicately balanced self-cleaning organ and your anus is not. Also, when it comes to ass to mouth… oh hell, I’m actually not going there – go watch a Kevin Smith movie or something.
Although both sexes have a lot of nerve endings in that particular area, men have a prostate gland. Stimulating the prostate gland anally leads to male ejaculation.
So much for that whole “gay sex is just not natural” spiel then.
Anal play does not have to involve hard-core penetration. A single finger or a little tongue (please Google oral dams) often goes a long way.
Take your time. This is not something you want to rush. Unlike first time vaginal sex, there is no physical barrier to “just push through” to get on with it. Communicate with your partner. And for crying in a bucket, don’t continue if you’re not enjoying it.
You don’t have to be an anal vixen to be a sex goddess. So don’t let anyone bully you into it if it freaks you out. If he’s not satisfied with your vagina, tell him to go fuck himself. Because, and I guarantee this girls, there are thousands of men out there ready to worship your vag.
But try it. Who knows - you might love it.
What are your views on anal play?