Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? No. Is it a plane?
Hell no. It's Cupid bitch...that winged little freak whose aim is about as straight as Ryan Lewis and Macklemore's performance at the Grammys.
She's back to taunt us with her nonsensical fuckeries and seems to be even more drunk on love than ever before.
Our universal mascot of romance stops at nothing to remind us that a life without love is no life at all.
As if we really needed the reminder, what with all the recent marriage proposals, random hook-ups and "in-a-relationship" statuses.
There's no doubt about it: love has made a graceful comeback and it's putting the Cadbury-endorsed eunuch back in business.
V-Day! V-Day! V-Day! It has to be the most atrocious display of cult consumerism known to man; a pseudo-holiday that has singles seeing red and couples seeking therapy due to the mixed signals their partners keep giving off during this time of year.
"We don't have to do anything this year, my love" = "You better be taking me to Pot Luck fuckhead!"; "I really don't want anything babe = I can't believe you didn't get me anything, asshole!";"Everyday with you is Valentine's Day = I deserve diamonds!"
Let's face it - it was bound to lose its meaning someday, along with all the other bullshit holidays that have conveniently lost their way in transaction.
As if heart-shaped missives and entertainment bills that break the bank actually reflect one's feelings towards their significant other. I mean how superficial can we get?
It's almost refreshing to see more and more smart shoppers catching onto to the whole charade by avoiding the ridiculous tradition altogether.
For me, if my significant other brought home a sushi platter number 4 with extra soy sauce and the latest episode of Walking Dead, I would literally give him sex for months.
Instead of splurging an obscene amount of money on expensive gifts and lavish eateries, cost-cutting couples are starting to realise that Valentine's Day is more about spending time with your lover and celebrating the person they are and not the product they buy.
Perhaps the only exception is the virgin Valentine.
You know, that vulnerable little girl sitting at the back of homeroom eating her feelings and secretly longing for someone to pass her a secret love note, fragrant and sweetly sealed with a kiss.
The nerd who finally gained the confidence to ask the popular girl out on a date only to be shot down in a puddle of public ridicule.
The young woman who blossomed in life and became aware of her inner-beauty, which transcended outwardly to the point of finally attracting someone worth all that love?
Now that Miranda had officially made it into Club 1402 (an exclusive place where giant teddies, clouds of haze and long-stem roses were part of day-to-day realities), she was never letting go.
At the tender age of thirty-four, Mir was in love and about to experience her very first Valentine's Day.
At last, it was her turn to be pampered with flowers, chocolates and musical greeting cards - not the kind that go on discount the very next day.
She could drink red wine and listen to Endless Love underneath the stars while enjoying a picnic that her "boyfriend" (OMG!!! #Excited) had thoughtfully arranged without her knowledge.
She could hold hands and take long walks on the beach with someone other than her poodles, Fido and Frenchie.
"I know it sounds corny but I am freaking out about what to get him. I just want it to be special, you know, because he is special and he makes me feel special."
Yip, this is what singles and couples in long-term relationships have to endure every Valentine's Day when a single friend suddenly finds a lover.
We do it because we genuinely care and also, because once upon a time, this was us.
As I heard Miranda gush about her V-Day plans, I couldn't help but wonder whether couples in long-term relationships have disregarded the value of Valentine's Day or whether they were just over the hype.
When did it lose its simplicity? Did it take someone who had never experienced the joys of receiving a rose to remind us about the true meaning of Hurricane Cupid?
Have we forgotten how to appreciate that special person in our lives for all the happiness they bring to it or should we use this opportunity to reaffirm our love and devotion?
Do we still see ourselves through the eyes of someone else, realising just how special we actually are? Bet that candlelit dinner by air balloon looks pretty silly right now ...
While St. Valentine and his chubby little sidekick get a lot of flack for perpetuating the myth that love should be expressed through material means, it's also a reminder to celebrate the person you love. It's perfectly normal for first-timers to go overboard with dramatic bouquets, sexy lingerie and "I heart you forever" hallmark cards, because we were there once too.
While the novelty of such things may have worn off, to the virgin valentine embarking on her maiden voyage, it's pretty freaking awesome! If you've never had a Valentine in your life, then by all means embellish.
You know you've waited all your life for this moment, so go ahead ... be in love.
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