Why's it okay for him to cheat?

Society isn't as accepting - or forgiving - of women who commit adultery. What's the difference, asks Saffiya Ismail?

I am not the “moral police”. I'm not condoning or advocating cheating nor am I judging anyone. We are responsible for our actions and the consequences which follow.
 
We constantly watch the unravelling of celebrity cheaters, and peg it down to the world they live in, full of glitz, glamour and shenanigans.
 
When a man cheats, we nail it down to him “being a man”,  might shock us, but then the clichés start, “men are men” or “men are dogs” and we associate the adultery to them being born that way.
 
What would happen if women behaved the same way?
 
One rarely hears of sex scandals involving women, if one does hear of a scandal relating to a woman, more often than not, it’s a woman being somewhere where she should not be, or associating with people she shouldn’t be with; or a drug/drink related incident, but a sex scandal is rare. Or are women better at covering it up? Women are just as capable of cheating, lying and all sorts of manipulative behaviour.
 
Men, however seem to be more reckless hence they are always in the limelight. There always seem to be high profile male figures in the limelight; they risk their integrity and reputation. Is it simply that they exercise poor judgment in those situations, when they become slaves to their sex organs. Men are ruled by what's between their legs and not what's in their head.
 
When they do get caught out, they lie and try to cover it up.
Tiger Woods, Dominique Strauss-Khan, Arnold Schwarzenegger, to name but a few, who’s indiscretion left people shocked.  We know how Tiger Woods’ wife reacted; she turned to a golf club.... 
 
Our President married for the 6th time this weekend, so technically he was conducting an extra marital affair so he too was in an adulterous relationship.... correct?
 
Can you imagine the explaining the secret agents had to do when they got home to their wives, fiancés or girlfriends?  It’s one thing to cheat, it’s another when it trends on twitter and is the headlining news story on CNN.With most scandals, we ask “how could he be so stupid or what was he thinking when he did that?
 
Once again adultery happens irrespective of which race or culture or religion one follows. We all know it’s wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that it has happened years ago and still happens now.
 
Emperors had harems and seraglios.

Concubines and mistresses existed centuries ago and still exist in many cultures. Polygamy has been around for centuries and is still around whether we like it, or not, agree with it or not.
 
 
Does it shock us more, because they are high profile people as opposed to when you hear about a friend or family member?
 
What about the world we live in, your circle.
 
We tend to forgive more easily when we hear someone cheated, due to unhappiness in their relationship, BUT if someone cheats simply because of their libidos’; we become more critical; intolerant and less forgiving.
 
When we hear of a woman cheating; we assume she’s in a bad marriage, or being abused or cannot escape, hence it’s more emotional – love, romance and finding someone who will treat you right; discreetly. There are some women who don’t want the emotional attachment and simply want sex, or to satisfy their carnal desires?
 
Do we differentiate between MALE and FEMALE infidelity. ...
 
We normally tend to support the person, who was cheated on?  So when you hear about a man having sex with random strangers in dirty bathrooms; high priced escorts or employees. Is it because they can, they blame it on sex addiction or high testosterone or simply because we are more accepting that Monogamy and Men don’t gel!
 
Most men are not as forgiving if their wives cheat, yet they expect to be forgiven for their indiscretions. Once again double standards apply; men doing the cheating have double standards for their wives.
 
I am in no way advocating adultery, but one wonders about the messages we send out, do we give off mixed signals.

Check out Saffiya's blog or follow her on Twitter.

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