News24.com  |   OLX  |   PriceCheck  |   Property24  |   Kalahari.com  |   Careers24
 
Women24 - Your voice, every day
Wedding trend: bridal jackets

Fitted bridal jackets make for a perfect addition to your wedding gown. Here's what you need to consider when choosing one.

SA was better in the 80s?

This is for those who forget, and those who tend to say: 'Dit was beter in die ou dae'...

Women24 in your Inbox!
Sign up for our newsletters
  • Hidden tab for homepage
  • Love & Sex
  • Wellness
  • Fashion & Beauty
  • Bride24
  • Work & Money
  • Parenting
  • Books & Astrology
  • Home & Away
  • TV & Gossip
  • Chat & Win
 
Sex and Sizzle  |  Love and Marriage  |  Singles and Dating  |  Gay  |  Experts
Body and Spirit  |  Cartoons  |  Diet  |  Women's Health  |  Holistic Health  |  Sport  |  Green  |  Experts  |  Love your Body
News & Trends  |  Galleries  |  Celeb Style  |  Beauty  |  Reader Style  |  Experts  |  Great Hair
Wedding Planning  |  Bridal Fashion  |  Beauty  |  Travel  |  Bride24 Directory  |  My Wedding  |  Experts  |  Tools  |  Love Forever
At Work  |  Money  |  Legal  |  Technology  |  Experts
Falling Pregnant   |  Being Pregnant   |  Birth  |  0-12 Months  |  1-3 Years  |  School  |  Health & Nutrition  |  Galleries  |  Experts  |  Forums
Book Club  |  Astrology  |  News
News & Trends   |  Decor  |  DIY  |  Handcraft  |  Gardening  |  Food  |  Restaurants  |  Motoring  |  Travel  |  Experts
Celeb Gossip  |  Soapbox  |  Hotties  |  Series Addicts
Forums  |  Columnists  |  Letters  |  Blogs  |  Competitions  |  Giveaways  |  Games

Crazy stupid love

Pin it Share

When it comes to relationships and commitment, I can't help but wonder, are we all a little mad? Manni Bradshaw is convinced.

 Image: Shutterstock
Article: Manni Bradshaw

Related Links

  • The upside of divorce
  • 5 best perks of being single
  • Yay for 'Real Men'

Why is it that whenever we go through a particularly difficult time in our lives someone automatically thinks we're bi-polar and in need of happy pills?

In this Prozac nation full of Pfizer babies, it's much easier to cry depression than it is to man up and deal with the problem at hand.

Instead we choose to pump ourselves full of mood stabilizers in hopes of curing some kind of chemical imbalance, a hypothesis that was coincidentally discovered during the same time as the pharmaceutical boom of the 1950's.

Has our generation really become that quick to buckle or are some of us just better-equipped to deal with the highs and lows of this roller coaster called life than others?

In marriage...

As I sat in the doctor's room waiting for my diagnosis to come through, I started thinking about commitment and the mental strength it takes to love someone on a permanent basis.

A long-term relationship, and a marriage in particular, is the ultimate indication of love, one that was designed to test our emotional fortitude.

It comes with a number of extreme contradictions that become even more intense the longer we stay in a particular relationship. Pain, joy, happiness, resentment. Everything is amplified.

We love them the one day and we hate them the next. Was love also bi-polar and if so how do we overcome the negative side effects without any form of medication?

Do we simply give up and declare the relationship emotionally unstable or do we fight the symptoms before they become critical?

My dearest English friend Anabelle had lived a very full and independent life before she eventually settled down and got married at the age of 40. It was quite an adjustment going from single international tour operator to working super-wife and mother of two.

In eight short years Anabelle had learned how to juggle the various roles in her life, a feat that was not easy to accomplish considering the premature cracks in her marriage.

She'd conquered rumors of infidelity, insolvency as well as a number of physical complications that could have ended her husbands life sooner than she had hoped for.

Despite all the drama, Anabelle always seemed to remain calm. At first I thought it was because she was British but I had soon discovered that the key to Anabelle's success was not self-medication but a little relationship tool called diplomacy.

She had successfully managed to perfect the art of negotiation between any two opposing thoughts, ideas and feelings to the point where all parties involved were able to reach an amicable and mutual decision.

"There were many times that I thought of divorcing Reggie and sometimes I find myself resenting him for things that have happened in the past but at the end of the day, if you still love someone and choose to be with them, you'll  find a way of making things work."

Had Anabelle come up with some kind of "relationship prognosis"? Were conciliation and communication the natural endorphins needed to overcome the emotional imbalance in one's relationship?

My own relationship had recently gone through a state of clinical depression and I was just about ready to raise the white flag on love for good. Instead of confronting the problems in our relationship, Aiden and I decided to avoid each completely.

This unhealthy approach went on for days until the suppression finally turned into a full-blown shit storm.Things were thrown and harsh words were spoken.

I was furious, he was hurt. It all became a little schizophrenic but by the end of the day, we had reached a mutual understanding and respect for one another, and peace had finally been restored to our three year relationship.

They don't call it crazy stupid love for nothing.

There seems to be a quick-fix pill for everything these days, guaranteed to bring eternal sunshine to any spotless mind.

I wouldn't be surprised if some lab had already found a way of curing the downsides of being in a relationship. Imagine how well that would go down.

Until then, we have to make mental adjustments and put a little effort into making something worthwhile work. Despite all of love's trials and tribulations, you know you've struck gold when you find a relationship able to withstand the most manic of situations.

Hold onto the man that will love you for better or worse, for richer and poorer and in mental illness and in health.

Follow Manni Bradshaw's blog and Facebook pages here.



Read more on: love and marriage  |  dating  |  relationships

Share this page (What are these?):
  • Twitter
  • Yahoo
  • Google
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook

Other Stories in Love and Marriage...

Awaken the passion in your marriage
Awaken the passion in your marriage

Have you ever been bored with how things span-out between the sheets? Here is how to awaken the love!

Can men and women be 'just friends'?
Can men and women be 'just friends'?

Dorothy Black finds out that platonic relations between the sexes may be nothing more than wishful thinking.

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
0 comments
Add your comment
Thank you, your comment has been submitted.
avatar
Logout
Comment 0 characters remaining
We reserve the right to maintain the quality of the discourse on the comments board as much as we can.
By posting comments you agree to our Terms & Conditions.
avatar
Logout
Comment 0 characters remaining
Loading comments... Loading comments...
  • Horoscopes
  • Cartoons
  • Soapies
Aquarius
Aquarius

Chances are that your partner is competing with your job to get your attention today. Although you...read more

Aries
Aries

Take it easy on a child or a lover who needs your understanding and sympathy today. A demanding...read more

Cancer
Cancer

It would be a good idea for today if you can introduce some fun into your workplace. Since you’re...read more

Capricorn
Capricorn

Seek out the company of a friend whom you know has a good sense of humour, as you could do with...read more

Gemini
Gemini

In spite of your religious or moral differences, you and a work colleague are getting along just...read more

Leo
Leo

Even though you and your partner are not seeing eye to eye on finances today, do your very best to...read more

Libra
Libra

A subtle approach will work best if you need to alert someone at work about a money related matter....read more

Pisces
Pisces

Your partner may not be up to joining you in a social event today, so understand if he/she wants...read more

Sagittarius
Sagittarius

Whatever your time plan is for today, it’s a day for lying low and chilling out. You’ll be very...read more

Scorpio
Scorpio

You’re in a relaxed and laidback mood today, but chances are that someone at home is going to...read more

Taurus
Taurus

A friend, rather than your partner, will probably better understand your motivation for doing what...read more

Virgo
Virgo

You’re keen to catch up with some news and/or gossip today, so make sure you’re hanging out at the...read more

Bring You Down
Bring You Down

When do you feel like the world is working to bring you down? ...read more

Boy kills father after watching Generations

A Zimbabwean teenager says he got the idea to poison his father from watching the SA soap...read more

 
Love Cuppacake and WIN
Fall in love with CuppaCake and win a holiday for 2.
 
Related links:
  • Declare your love on our Facebook page to enter.
  • Most Read
  • Most Commented
  • "Tricked into being a drug mule"
  • 10 weird celeb phobias
  • SA was better in the 80s?
  • Bon Jovi: Bieber is an a$$hole
  • Listener’s brutal letter to Unathi
  • SA was better in the 80s?
  • "Tricked into being a drug mule"
  • What irritates you at work?
  • I demand the truth
  • 10 weird celeb phobias
Men
Women
Search
Realis
Realis
I'm a 36 year old man looking to meet women between the ages of 20 and 45. View profile
View More...
LilyM
LilyM
I'm a 38 year old woman looking to meet men between the ages of 40 and 50. View profile
View More...
Love 2 Meet

Astro Love Match

with Petra du Preez

  • I'm a
  • and I like a

Want to know more?

Buy your compatibility profile here

Heard on the Blogs...

10 relationship tips

Committed to a long-term relationship? Don't get stuck in a rut! Here’s how to keep the passion alive.

View all Women24 Blogs

Sponsored links

Quality lenses at great prices, only at Spec-Savers   Col’Cacchio Celebrity Chef Series 2013
1Life   Win with Mr Price Home
Win 1 of 10 iPhone 5s   Selfmed Med Aid

Jobs - Find your dream job

Business Developement Exceutive

Gauteng
Falcorp Resourcing
R170000 - R288000

Accounts Clerk x3

Cape Town
Media24
Market Related

Energieke En Spontane Skoonheids Verkoops Konsultante Benodig

Johannesburg
UDM International (Pty) Ltd
R10000 - R26000

Browse more jobs...
  • KwaZulu Natal Jobs
  • Pretoria Jobs
  • North West Jobs
  • Marketing Jobs
  • Retail Jobs
  • Hotel Jobs
Register your CV...
Advertise a position
Job alert e-mails...

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Southern Sun - Maputo

Spend 3 nights and pay for 2 at Southern Sun - Maputo for only R4 621 per person sharing. Includes accommodation, return flights, airport taxes and airport transfers.Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Sylvia Day’s Entwined with You - coming on 31 May

Gideon and Eva’s story continues in the powerfully sensual third novel in the international bestselling crossfire series. Pre-order your copy now!

Romance & Drama DVDs – 2 for R99

Catch all the drama and romance you need, buy any 2 DVDs from this catalogue for just R99. While stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to 20% off Elle & Eva luggage

Don’t miss this great offer, save up to 20% on selected Elle & Eva luggage and travel in style. Shop now!

Hot and exclusive Coby 7" wifi tablet – only R1299.95

Don’t miss out on this super hot deal of the week, save R300 on the Coby 7” tablet! Dispatched within 24hrs + free delivery. While stocks last. Buy now!

Up to 20% off all the hottest gaming pre-orders!

Get it while it’s hot! Save up to 20% on the hottest games on pre-orders including Grand Theft Auto 5, Fifa 14, Grid 2, Battlefield 4 and more. Pre-order now!
Follow Women24
Women24:
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Advertise
  • Contact us
Digital Media & Marketing Association

© 2013 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.