While we all know that good communication is the cornerstone to a strong and healthy relationship, many couples still struggle with it.

“You never listen to me!”

Sound familiar? Of course it does. But maybe it’s not his hearing or his understanding to blame. Maybe it’s your approach or your method of delivery that needs a bit of tweaking.

You are too aggressive
Talking to him in a condescending and belittling way is not only insulting and disrespectful, but it won’t help you get whatever you want – in fact, you could be compromising your relationship – because his reaction is likely to be similar. Or, even worse, defensive.

Change it: When addressing an issue, remain calm and avoid preacher-type tactics.

You become too emotional
And you start whining or even crying. If you do this, then don’t expect sympathy. He will eventually grow tired of your incessant complaining and negativity.

Change it: Own your feelings at the beginning of your conversion with him where you address what it is that is upsetting you, followed by a (positive) solution.

Your timing is always wrong
Let’s be honest, most men are unable to multitask. If you go to him with your concern(s) while he’s focused on something else – like, say, an ‘important’ sports game on TV – then naturally, he won’t be able to give you 100% of his attention.

Change it: Tell him that you’d like to talk as soon as possible and then set aside a time that is convenient for both of you. He’ll be more receptive to what you have to say when you’re not blocking his view of that sports game.

Fight a lot? Read our advice on how to solve common relationship issues.

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