QUESTION

Hello Mrs Miller,

My wife and I have been married for two years and been together for ten. We have three children, a boy aged seven and two girls aged three. My wife is twenty four and I am twenty eight.

Six months after we got married I found out that she had cheated on me before our marriage. I accepted the reasons she gave on why she did it but felt betrayed by the lies and deceit. She promised it would never happen again.

Four months ago I found caught her cheating again. I found e-mails between her and a mutual friend in witch she declares that she will always love him etc. I had confronted them and they both swear there was never sexual contact but I still decided to end our relationship. Yet again I was given the blame for not being an attentive husband and she got the impression that I was cheating on her and he was there to comfort etc.

Long story short I ended up staying due to the welfare of my children and for financial reason. But our relationship is practically dead.

A month ago I cheated on her with her sister and she caught us out. She was devastated and after a week or so apologized profusely for what she had done in the past and swore it would not happen again as she now knows what I had gone through. Yet I do not believe her.

I cannot trust her. And in all honesty I do not know what I feel towards her. But I know whatever I decide there will not be any turning back. In for a penny...

What I need to know is, can this relationship be salvaged? If so, how do I get that spark back? We lead busy lives with work and the kids and to be honest there never has been a lot of time spent between us and I am hopeless at romance.

There is a lot to lose and I do not want my children to grow up in a broken family like I did, but I do not know how to make this work.

Any advise shall be greatly appreciated.

Eugene