Need some relationship advice! Ask our resident Agony Aunt, the lovely Mrs Miller. Read more
Hello Mrs Miller,
My wife and I have been married for two years and been together for ten. We have three children, a boy aged seven and two girls aged three. My wife is twenty four and I am twenty eight.
Six months after we got married I found out that she had cheated on me before our marriage. I accepted the reasons she gave on why she did it but felt betrayed by the lies and deceit. She promised it would never happen again.
Four months ago I found caught her cheating again. I found e-mails between her and a mutual friend in witch she declares that she will always love him etc. I had confronted them and they both swear there was never sexual contact but I still decided to end our relationship. Yet again I was given the blame for not being an attentive husband and she got the impression that I was cheating on her and he was there to comfort etc.
Long story short I ended up staying due to the welfare of my children and for financial reason. But our relationship is practically dead.
A month ago I cheated on her with her sister and she caught us out. She was devastated and after a week or so apologized profusely for what she had done in the past and swore it would not happen again as she now knows what I had gone through. Yet I do not believe her.
I cannot trust her. And in all honesty I do not know what I feel towards her. But I know whatever I decide there will not be any turning back. In for a penny...
What I need to know is, can this relationship be salvaged? If so, how do I get that spark back? We lead busy lives with work and the kids and to be honest there never has been a lot of time spent between us and I am hopeless at romance.
There is a lot to lose and I do not want my children to grow up in a broken family like I did, but I do not know how to make this work.
Any advise shall be greatly appreciated.
This is such a difficult situation. The only thing I can advise is therapy. For both of you. I don't think either of you have come to terms with the past or the current situation. So how could you even begin to plan for the future?
Ask around to find the name of a good psychologist.