QUESTION

My hubby and I are both 33 and have been together for 11 yrs with 2 kids. We recently fight about just anything and spend days without properly talking. It got so worse that he doesn't want to go anywhere with me even when I ask him to. I'd suggest that we take a drive round town, go the park, go to movies, eat out, go out for coffee and at times he'd snap and say I should do it alone or call my friend.

He never wants me to perform oral sex on him, share a bath with me, have sex anywhere than the house (not in the car, nowhere adventurous). Lately we fight a lot, don't trust each other, don't talk about anything, don't kiss, hug, cuddle and whenever I try kissing him he doesn't respond and if I don't try he just relax and never initiates. He doesn't want me touch his privates not even when we are in bed, he sleeps at the very end of the bed and when I move closer he complains that I am taking too much space.

I have communicated with him things that turns me on, boost my sex appeal, the importance of spending more time together away from kids, but nothing worked and he doesn't show any interest.

When I am at work I call to check on him and he doesn't do the same, when I send nice or sexy sms he doesn't respond and when I ask why he'd say he doesn't know what to say or he thought I meant to send them to somebody else not him. He doesn't flirt with me but does it with other women.

He has no medical problem or any form of stress. Weeks goes by without sex, months without kiss or caress, years without any form of intimacy. This is really killing me as I question my ability to turn a man on. He once said that he doesn't feel me, should we have sex we only have 1 round for the night and that's it. When I ask for more he'd say he is tired or that I should go look for it elsewhere if I feel that he is not satisfying me. I love him but lately I feel that perhaps I should move on. I don't want to have another relationship while I am with him but I feel that he is not giving me what I deserve and doubt if the situation will change.

Please advise if there is anything more that I must still try or haven't tried. Intimacy means a lot to me than penetration. But then there's trust, communication, compassion, love, togetherness, understanding that is no more there but being replaced by constant fights, disrespect, accusation. The first 3yrs of the relationship were awesome I really miss them. Pls help!!!