Respected sexual health expert, Dr Lorraine Becker, successfully juggles motherhood and medicine as well as several other businesses and has more than twenty years of experience in the field of sexology.
My question/problem: I have been married for a few months now. My husband and I decided to wait till marriage before having sex, although we did experience oral sex.
I never liked having oral sex too much. It is painful, and I am sort of fussy perhaps, but I don't like the idea of kissing each others private parts.
After we got married I was so relieved to find that I actually to like having sex and that the penetration part is nice and doesn't hurt me. We have sex often and really enjoy being together.
My problem is that my husband still likes to have oral sex too, and I am really not into it.
I told him that, because it hurts me and I am not comfortable with it.
Now he feel betrays because, before we were married, I used to be okay with it.
And it is true, I was okay with it, but because I wanted to be close to him and I did not want to reject him. That was also before we had sex.
Now I love having sex, and it is my prefrence.
How can I explain to him that I did not lie or betrayed him, I simply wanted to be close to him.
And having sex now is enough for me.
And how do I become okay with oral sex if I really don't want it?
And how do I keep him happy if he obviously have more needs than I do?
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