QUESTION

My husband and I have been together for 10yrs, married for 3. He quit his job in January this year and never told me. He said he was working from home. I found out after I got a lawyer's letter saying we hadn't paid our rent. When confronted him, he told me most of it, only I have discovered he has been lying to me about a lot of things. Plus he started drinking and becoming aggressive as well. Of course, this has not turned me on in anyway and we don't have sex. I try to talk to him, letting him know how I feel and would like to be treated and not kept out of his life because we are a team. But nothing. I find that he surfs the net for porn which just makes me feel even worse. I'm not the skinniest woman and being included in his adventures makes me feel even more unattractive. I feel like I don't know this man and so I'm not sexually attracted to him. I feel like I'm just being used for sex, like that's the only part that he needs. Foreplay is non-existent, and I do need it! I've told him that I would like to watch porn movies with him but then he shies away. I've suggested going to adult shops, but nothing happens. I know I have some issues to work out, but every time I feel like I'm ready to start something, I find out another lie or the booze bottles hidden away. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel that this is not going to last. I used to enjoy sex, but not anymore, I want something but I don't know what. Actually, I want a man!

All the responsibility has fallen on my head and I feel like I'm the husband in this marriage. I want to be taken care of and treated right, but I've said this to him and he makes efforts here and there but in a sheepish way. I feel like screaming and crying everyday, that's why I'm on antidepressants and sleeping pills because I can't sleep either. I've also asked if we should go to an expert, but he says it's my problem, not his. He isn't the one who is wrong.

I could go on and on, but hopefully you could possibly have some advice for me?
Thank You