As a sexuality clinician and educator, Marlene recognises that all people have the right to access sexual and reproductive health services and information.
I have a similar question to the one posed by a previous user below. I am 42 and have had a few partners thus far and consider myself sexually experienced.
I am currently engaged to a 32 year old lady whom I want to marry. She has agreed, but has revealed a hang up that she's very self-conscious about and that if not resolved will cause her to choose an unnecessary life of celibacy.
The very idea of penetration freaks her out. She is muslim and has preserved her virginity to this day. She has revealed to me that she masturbates by rubbing against pillows, but never fingering or bmo a dildo or vibrator etc.
We tried to be intimate and as soon as I got close to penetrating her, she dried up, clammed shut, and said that she's experiencing severe pain "down there".
I'm not well endowed, its like a mental block exists within her, that prevents penetration, she's also scared of pregnancy cos of the pain childbirth can cause. She's fingered herself only once and then stopped "cos it hurt".
I perform cunnilingus on her, she sort of enjoys it, but she doesn't experience the sheer pleasure from it that past lovers have described. She allows me to insert my tongue into her vagina but freaks out if I attempt to use even 1 finger. She gets wet, but dries up quickly too, lubricants have been tried, but the minute I attempt penetration she backs away and says its too sore, yet my penis was only hovering near her labia, touching the labia majora only, not even close to the vaginal opening at all!
Is this a mental thing? Is it a fear of perceived pain? She wants to resolve the issue. What do we do? Any advice please?
I experience painful intercourse and I have been to the Dr who advised it could be caused by a dry vagina. Is there any "remedy" for this?
I read one of your articles on Dry Vagina which said that it might be caused by not being aroused enough. I become very aroused by my boyfriend, but once it comes to penetration, it's so painful & uncomfortable that I find it difficult to enjoy making love.
Any advise would be appreciated. Thank you.
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