Thank you for asking this question- most every woman wants to know the answer but fear appearing stupid or ignorant. Having a vaginal orgasm is very difficult thing to do as there are not enough nerves within the vagina for this to happen. Also women need a lot of arousal to become orgasmic - up to 20 minutes and more-Relying on a man thrusting inside you for this amount of time is a big ask of any man - it's a long time to expect a man to thrust without ejaculating. And also it can get pretty boring. Which is why you have this wonderful part of your genitals called the clitoral area. This is mostly the external part of your genitals which does extend into the vaginal area. So mostly this is the area you want stimulated : the external vulva/clitoral complex. So during intercourse, before or after , stimulation of your clitoral area may be essential for you to become orgasmic. Through masturbating on your own , you will learn how to become orgasmic - and no doubt it will include some form of clitoral stimulation. Once you get it for yourself, then trust yourself to inform a partner. And allow him to get over this fantasy of vaginal orgasms.